On Cutting Out The “Emotionally Expensive”

by Jodifur on March 6, 2013

My sister likes the term “emotionally expensive” a lot and in the past year or so I have come to borrow it.  To me, emotionally expensive means those people, that after you spend time with them, you can barely breathe, they suck all the air out of the room.  They are all about them.  They say “how are you?” and then three seconds in it is “and I” “and me” and “we,” not meaning you.  Every single time you talk to them.

I once had someone tell me I “make everything about me.”  And I absolutely never ever once forgot that comment and from that moment on tried very hard never to do that again.  Because those people, drive me absolutely crazy.

We all have times in out life where we do make everything about us.  I was not a very fun to be around bride.  Or pregnant person.  But I’m giving myself a pass on that one because I had a high risk kind of miserable pregnancy.  Going through a breakup?  I will talk to you about it until the cows come home.  But eventually, it needs to stop.

In the past couple of years I have become a much happier, much stabler person by simply saying no to drama.  I used to try to know what ALL the drama was going on online.  And there is a lot of it.  But at this point in time I close twitter, go play some Candy Crush, (ohmyg-d level 70 I hate you) and move on.  I don’t need to know.  Or even care really.

I am by no means saying the people who are involved or the people who watch it unfold are bad people.  I just found, for me, cutting out the drama, means I’m happier.  In all aspects of my life.  And that includes those horrible message boards too.


jenn March 6, 2013 at 10:49 am

Oh, energy vampires! Where you leave the coversation exhausted and – on a particularly bad day- carrying some of their crap around with you. So.Not.Worth.It. …and good luck on level 70 :-)

Jessie March 6, 2013 at 4:52 pm

AMEN!! I used to be heavily involved in the online autism community here in AZ and it sucked the life out of me. I recently got back into a small facebook group of autism moms that I still love and it was not even a day in existence for that group that DRAMA started up and my phone started lighting up with people that just needed to talk about the “DRAMA” and stir it up or whatever….I had not even been on the group that day and was “out of the loop” and I found myself actually enjoying the fact that I was clueless and could truly say.. “ya know I have no idea I have not read any of it so really can’t discuss it”…man was that LIBERATING.

marathonmom March 7, 2013 at 8:47 pm

I do agree with your post; however, I completely believe that the assignment of “drama” has become overused and exploited. At the end of the day, regardless of one’s beliefs we are all called to be compassionate and love one another. Just because someone has a bad day doesn’t mean they are causing DRAMA. I really hate that word now. Yes, there are some lifesuckers out there, but be a big girl and work your boundaries and quit blaming any lack of them on someone else’s “drama”.

Hope March 31, 2013 at 10:34 pm

I’ve never hear the term emotionally expensive, but I like it!

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