I Live A Double Life

by Jodifur on January 21, 2013

For years, no one close to me except my husband knew I had a blog.  It was easier that way.  I started blogging before it was “cool” or “in vogue” and because of my job, I just never told very many people.  And then slowly, I started telling close friends and family.

I actually told my parents, drunk, on the Disney Cruise.  I was talking about something and all of a sudden I was all blah, blah, blah, blogging, jodifur.  And Doug’s eyes got very wide and you could tell he was thinking “what are you doing?”  And I tried to gloss over it hoping my parents wouldn’t catch on.  But they did.  So I shrugged my shoulders and said “yeah, I have a blog.”  And now they read it and it is totally fine.  My mom has even been to Disney Social Media Moms with me twice and she is always a hit at the event.

I told my best friend in an equally ass backwards kind of fashion.  She was asking me if I had left some internet comment somewhere and I said “wait, are you talking about my blog?”  “And she said, “you have a blog?”  I really need to learn to shut up.  She use to read it but she is boycotting because I told her to stop heckling in the comments.

I’ve only been discovered once, to my knowledge.  A neighbor and friend, who reads blogs, and I knew she read blogs, saw a picture of me and my link on someone else’s blog,  And she sent me a hysterical email that said “you have a blog!  Here are some shoes for Shoe Friday.”  I’m sure people I know read it and I don’t know, but I have yet to have that OH SHIT SOMEONE FOUND IT AND I DON’T WANT THEM TO DISCOVERY.

For the most part it has been fine.  I don’t use my last name online, and while people KNOW my last name, I ask that it not be printed.  This is mainly for work reasons and family privacy reasons.  But there are still people in my life who don’t know about this space. Who I think would be upset if they ever found out, and who would be hurt that I choose not to tell them.  And almost 7 years later it would be hard to be like, yeah, I just um, forgot.

As for work, I have tried very hard for that whole section of my life not to know about this.  But there are times where I feel as if I live a double life.  SOCIAL MEDIA JODI.  LAWYER JODI.  I need a cape.



*This post was inspired by mystery thriller novel The Expats by Chris Pavone.  Kate Moore happily sheds her old life to become a stay at home mom when her husband takes a job in Europe. As she attempts to reinvent herself, she ends up chasing her evasive husband’s secrets. Join From Left to Write on January 22 as we discuss The Expats.  As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.*


Liza | (a)Musing Foodie January 21, 2013 at 9:49 am

I can relate – although it’s the opposite for me. Most people that know me in the blogging/freelance world have no idea that I have a fulltime, busy job in marketing with a large corporation. LOL


Stacy January 21, 2013 at 9:52 am

Did you like The Expats? I read it last spring and I wanted to like it, in fact I picked it up expecting to love it, but, I just didn’t.

Carrie @ poet in the pantry January 21, 2013 at 10:51 am

I understand that kind of double life! It took me until I had been writing 2 years to “come out” to everyone. And it was in a big way with the Emeril cook-along that I did. As in newspaper articles–no hiding anymore. It was very nerve-wracking at first. (I also had a TTC/mommy blog before that and I never told my family about that one.)

mamawolfe January 21, 2013 at 1:53 pm

I know how you feel-as a teacher and mom, sometimes I feel super exposed when people read my blog. Other times, I just don’t care.

Alison Abbott January 21, 2013 at 4:12 pm

I can definitely relate. The blog is not something I broadcast to friends-its almost like my blogging world is completely separate. I’d like it to be more intertwined, but social media is just not part of my ‘IRL groups’ vocabulary. Maybe that will change in years to come. I hope so.

Dawn January 22, 2013 at 12:04 pm

I started mine to tell stories about the kids before I forgot them to share with the family so they all know. Doubt they read, but they know.


I now am wanting to expand to gripe about life. ALL of it. And can’t/won’t do it when I know they *could* read at any time which leaves me no choice but to start a second secret blog but that requires energy.

Inertia, man. What a bitch.

Thrift Store Mama January 22, 2013 at 12:19 pm

I have a double life.

Nobody in my neighborhood, except 5 people, know about my blog. I am heavily involved in the neighborhood and local politics and I really don’t want people at the Town Council meeting knowing that my husband and I had an argument that morning, or that I feel depressed, or that I just lost 3 pounds, etc. I also don’t want my husband’s family to know, or a couple friends from high school. Nobody at work knows. I did tell my very close work friend and I could tell she was very hurt because I had never told her about it previously. I don’t tell the rest of the people on the list because they just wouldn’t get it. They don’t read blogs anyway.

It stinks because although I have very few close friends in the neighborhood, I know a lot of people socially/politically and it would increase my readership if I told them.

If I didn’t have this outlet to gripe about my life, I really cannot imagine what I would do.

Eunice January 22, 2013 at 7:10 pm

Definitely I understand about the secrecy about being a blogger and lawyer. I’m sure you don’t want the other lawyers at your work to know your inner thoughts, etc. Maybe that’s the real reason I haven’t been able to find a job, employers have found my blog and think I can’t be taken seriously!

Shannon January 22, 2013 at 10:04 pm

I stay tight lipped about my blog too. It is usually my husband who tells people, and when they turn to ask me about it I mumble something about needing to pee and scurry off. I’ve always figured the fewer people that can put a face with my first-name-only blog, the more liberty I have to speak my mind.

Mel January 23, 2013 at 10:39 am

Love love love this post.

Corey Feldman January 23, 2013 at 1:34 pm

I tell everyone that I have a blog. I’m like, come on over and don’t forget to click on my advertising. OK I don’t say that last part as it would be a violation of the terms of service…

Corey Feldman January 23, 2013 at 1:37 pm

I actually get a decent amount of traffic and the funny thing is, not many of my family or friends actually read my blog

Eva @ Socamom January 23, 2013 at 8:43 pm

I almost told my sister in law about my blog this past weekend, then I choked the words back in and swallowed them. If she actually read it, she may get to know me and start to like me… I just can’t have that – especially since I can’t guarantee that I’ll like her back.

Life Lessons February 23, 2013 at 12:32 pm

I sort-of lead a double life. I’ve been open with friends and acquaintances about my blog, but some of them seem to vaguely resent it, for reasons I don’t quite understand. I almost get the feeling those folks think it’s some kind of vanity thing on my part. One spoke out in front of me to others, knowing that I blog, saying, “You have to be some kind of major narcissist to have a blog.” Maybe? And does it matter? I enjoy it, it’s a fun pastime and a creative outlet. I’m not going to stop and take up knitting. I suck at knitting. Great post, thanks for putting it out there!

Alison February 23, 2013 at 6:04 pm

I’m pretty sure many of my friends and family know I have a blog, and a few even read it (but they never comment), because once in a while, someone will say something I KNOW I didn’t talk to them about, and realize they either read my blog or saw it on my blog’s Facebook page, and I’m like, er, yeah, and don’t mention/ ask how they know. I didn’t choose to tell or not tell, but as time went on, and I wrote more, sometimes baring my soul, it’s just harder to tell people. When people who I know read the blog mention it, I just gloss over it and change the subject.

I have no idea why I’m being elusive, but I guess I just want my online life to stay online. I think?

Great post, and I love how you weaved this in as a book review. :)

Eileen February 25, 2013 at 11:43 am

It’s much easier to be judged by complete strangers than those you know :)

MamaBear February 25, 2013 at 12:27 pm

Perfect timing for this post as I just accidentally told my boss my blogging name by sending him a picture from my phone that was linked to my campground cubs account. Oops! But I write like everyone will eventually read my blog. My mil already does so there’s that. I love her dearly though so it’s more of asking myself if I want to have that conversation the next time I see her sort of filter I use.

I also have to try to keep personal and work separate but since we live in the park we work in, that is a fine line too.

The Expats sounds like an interesting read by the way!

Winnie February 26, 2013 at 9:07 am

I enjoyed your post! I work for a lawfirm in NYC, and my blog is really a craft blog. It is the place where I can express myself and share my creations. I shared this info with my family (brother was needed to teach me how to setup it up as I was clueless) and a few friends. Word has gotten around the office as people want me to make them cards they have seen etc. I keep my work life off the blog, it is never discussed and since it is light hearted, I haven’t had any problem. It is funny when someone from the firm comes up and asks me a question from the blog or even “how do I start?”. My mom is so sweet as she likes to “follow along” when she can and then has comments to me, but can’t figure out how to post them no matter how many of us try to show her. So sweet.

D. February 26, 2013 at 3:30 pm

Boy does this post resonate with me. There are ony a handful of offline friends who know I blog. And these happen to be people who actually read and write blogs themselves. Everyone else probably wouldn’t understand. I wish my online and offline lives could become a little more seamless, but for now this is the way it is. What I wonder now is what if all the people I think “wouldn’t understand” are actually secretly blogging, too…

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