6 months ago I said goodbye to a group of friends. And the how and the why don’t really matter. The situation was difficult enough without splattering it all over the blogosphere. I could go with the “we just grew apart” but the real answer is much more complicated than that. There were hurt feelings and manipulations and lies, on all sides. No one was right and everyone was wrong, me included. But sometimes, you just don’t fit in a situation anymore. And I did what, at the time, I believed was best for me, and I walked away.
What is so strange about that is that I never walk away from friends. I keep my friends forever. My two closest friends and I have been friends for over 20 years. They know me better than anyone, maybe besides Doug. They have seen me through junior high, and high school, and college, and marriage, and babyhood. One of my friends and I now plan date nights through groupon and living social. We share babysitters. Michael loves her kids.
I’m a good friend. I know I am. It is one of my best qualities. But it has taken me a long time to recover from my decision. I felt myself questioning who I was and what I knew and whether or not things that had been said were true. And in the end I decided it really didn’t matter. Two people, or even 6 people can look at a situation and come away with different impressions. I spent a lot of time during that time period saying “it is what it is.” And I still believe that.
I believe that friends should lift you up. That friends should make you feel better about yourself, not worse. I believe that friends should make you laugh until you cry, and you can call, no matter what time of the day, when you need them.
I also believe this:
It is okay to walk away from relationships that don’t work. It was a hard lesson for me to learn. But I learned it. And I’m a better person, and a better friend, for it.