My happy, happy post was a little overly ambitious. In a lot of ways Doug being home is nice. He helps in the morning and is around a lot more and Michael LOVES Daddy being home. Last night we had dinner at the pool. And I'm never one to complain about spending time with my husband.
But he keeps getting all of these phone interviews, and I just want one person to bring him in the office. And all of the phone interviews end with "you will hear from someone in a few days" and then a few days go by and he doesn't hear anything and I want scream. Is "you will hear from someone in a few days" the dating equivalent to "I'll call you?"
And then it is 2 o'clock in the morning and I can't sleep and I start to have these "what if we can't pay the mortgage?" thoughts. And "what about hebrew school?" And "if he doesn't have a job when school starts should I pull Michael from after care?" AND "GO TO SLEEP YOU IDIOT IT HAS NOT EVEN BEEN TWO WEEKS."
I also think I'm going to start looking for a full time job. Which then makes me start to hyperventilate because what about Michael? How will he adjust to full time after care? How can my life have changed so much in TWO FUCKING WEEKS.
So right. I'm back to freaking out and not sleeping. How are you guys?
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Aw, man. It all sucks and I don’t blame you for the middle-of-the-night crazies. One day at a time, though. Try not to worry about what MIGHT happen because it’s just as likely NOT to happen.
Easy for me to say, Jodi, I know. Thinking of you guys.
xo
Going through similar issues as it looks as if my organization will be cut in October, and I have to find a new, cheaper preschool for my almost 4 year old, but I’m not sure IF we will be cut, and I don’t know when we’ll know, so the uncertainty is painful. Is that what they call it, preschool for 4 year olds? I don’t even know that because I’ve had enrolled in Childcare for so long….
I get those late night thoughts too, and they are not helpful. I listen to music until I feel drowsy… it helps tune out those what if thoughts. Try to take it one day at a time. I bet one of you will find something soon. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you.
Yes, sometimes “you will hear from someone in a few days” is to “I’ll call you” as Interviewing is to dating. It is not a good way of handling things, but I have seen it. No one likes to have difficult conversations. Its bad form, but it does happen. Sometimes it is about the company having too much choice. There is a notion that because the economy sucks and unemployment is high, companies can wait to find the perfect candidate. Problem is, there is no such thing, but companies miss out on good applicants, always trying to find someone a little better. The sometimes is about schedules. Often candidates are interview by multiple people – HR or a recruiter, a hiring manger, and depending on level, one or two people at the executive level. Coordinating all of that can take time. But the fact he is getting lots of phone screens is a really good sign.
If someone says “You’ll hear from us in a few days,” and then your husband doesn’t hear from them in a few days, is he calling them? Because that’s what I would do. I don’t think it could hurt to call a place and say, “Hey, I just wanted to call and thank you again for our interview. I haven’t heard back from you yet, and I wanted to check in on the status of my application, because I’d love the opportunity to come in for a second interview.” And I’m saying that I don’t think it would hurt as someone who has done management and done interviews and has made / helped make decisions about hiring people. If you do it calmly and politely it doesn’t make you look desperate to call back yourself before you get a call back — just eager and organized.
Places that are hiring are inundated with resumes right now and the failure to call back might not be intentional. I think it’s the (pleasantly) pushy people who are getting work right now.
Hang in there. I know it’s impossible not to worry but it’s really only been a short time that he’s been looking.
I have been in this place and, as you know, it sucks. The layoff process is so emotional. I have no advice accept to tell you that you only have to make one decision at a time. Sometimes, it was helpful for me to find all of the information “just in case.” Like, will the school let me cancel aftercare, and if I do, will I lose our spot, and how much notice do they need. So then, you know. Also, wine and cupcakes help.
I used to work in H.R. back in my pre-kid days. Though it may feel like cold comfort right now, bear in mind that summer time is a really *tricky* time to hire people. So many decision makers are on vacation, particularly during the hot days of July and August, and so a few days can easily turn into a few weeks. The fact that he’s getting phone interviews so quickly is a great sign.
Hang in there–those 2 a.m. “WTH are we going to do about the mortgage” worries suck, I know that all too well. Hugs to you both…
I used to work in H.R. back in my pre-kid days. Though it may feel like cold comfort right now, bear in mind that summer time is a really *tricky* time to hire people. So many decision makers are on vacation, particularly during the hot days of July and August, and so a few days can easily turn into a few weeks. The fact that he’s getting phone interviews so quickly is a great sign.
Hang in there–those 2 a.m. “WTH are we going to do about the mortgage” worries suck, I know that all too well. Hugs to you both…
I think it’s really natural that you would have ups and downs and a lot of worry. Love to you.
(random-hug) I’m sorry things are tough right now. I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed that something comes through soon. Hang in there!