Michael has 15 1/2 days left of Kindergarten, and I for one am thrilled. I am so tired of school. Of homework, and phone calls, and notes, and trouble reports. Of time outs and punishments and banging my head against the proverbial brick wall that never seems to end. Of no answers and so, so many questions. Of thinking everything is all right and then it is not.
I'm even sick of waste free Wenesday.
We have such a low key summer planned. Michael is going to a camp that I predict will be awesome, especially since my sister promises me I WILL NOT GET CALLED IF HE GETS IN TROUBLE. (She works there, she will handle it.) We finally got into our community pool after years of being on the wait list and after spending a weekend there last weekend Michael already loves it. We have found him a reading tutor, and besides that, we will do very little school related. I NEED a break from academics. I don't know what Michael needs, but I need it.
This year, was well, it was a year. It was good in some ways. Michael has made some really good friends in the neighborhood and so have I. He feels comfortable in his school. He knows what to expect next year and I think will be less nervous going back to school.
Did we make the right decision by sending him to public school and not keeping him at the Motessori I loved so? I'll never know. We could have had all the same problems next year that we are having this year. But I know this. I'm not sure I can survive another year like this one.
If anybody has stories about kids who had TERRIBLE kindergarten years and MAGICAL first grade years, I'll take them. Actaully, I'll take so/so first grade years. I'll take any stories you have about bad years and the next year turning around.
I'm grasping at straws here.
My hope is that this summer will be fantastic. And that first grade will be the year when things turn around for Michael. It has to eventually right? Things can't always be this hard. Statistically, that has to be impossible. We have to catch a break.
I think I was never very good at statistics.
15 1/2 more days. I have to be able to survive 15 1/2 more days.
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
I have no words of encouragement (my kids are younger), only the fervent hope that first grade is Michael’s year and the difficulties of this year fade to nothing more than than a, not a bad memory, but the to the starting point of his amazing climb.
Great idea to keep this summer as low key for him as possible, focus on the fun and not as much on the struggle.
There are no answers in parenting, are there?
Wine! That might help for the next 15 1/2 days.
I just want to reach through the computer and give you a hug and tell you that it can happen–1st grade can be the polar opposite of a crappy kindergarten year.
My son’s kindergarten year was an unmitigated disaster. His teacher treated him like an outcast from day one. I should have known it would be an issue from the first week, when I got daily calls about what he did to act out. There came a point during the school year when I stopped returning the “red slips” (behavior notices) because they were preposterous, and the teacher *never* took the time to find out my boy’s side of the story. She’d already decided that he was a problem, that he had developmental issues and she was going to do her level best to MAKE him be like the other kids in his class. He hated school, he was an outcast and his teacher set that tone for him in the classroom.
This year in first grade? AMAZING. He had a loving teacher who embraced all the ways that he is different from his peers, and worked with the school behavioural counselor to find ways for him to achieve success in the classroom. It hasn’t been perfect, but the key difference was the teacher herself. I had my son tested, the testing yielded no developmental issues, no ADHD, no indicators that he is on the autism spectrum (which the K teacher *insisted* must be the case).
He has come so far this year. He enjoys school, and actually told his teacher that he loves her (This is huge. He loves a lot of people, but won’t say so to most of them). He felt a part of his classroom, he’s matured quite a bit, and is learning ways to keep his frustrations in check on his own. His classmates include him. He’s still different from them in a lot of ways, but the key change in his environment was the teacher’s attitude toward him. I saw it from the first day of school… http://maurhoffbarney.blogspot.com/2010/09/so-far-so-good.html
The difference was the teacher. Plain and simple. I know that your boy and mine have different issues, but at the core I do believe that having the right teacher can make all the difference in the world.
You know, so often it’s all in the teacher. I think Michael has just as good a chance of really clicking with his first grade teacher as not and a teacher who will go to bat for you makes all the difference. He’s charming and sweet and I think a summer at the pool and a fun camp is just what the doctor ordered.
Hoping that next year will be better for Michael….(and you)— that he finds a teaacher who appreciates him. And most of all, that you get all the down time from academic stress that you so greatly deserve!!
I agree that the teacher can make a huge difference. My first grade year was not good, to the tune of my [public school teacher mom] threatening to pull me out and send me to Montessori. Ultimately some changes to my schedule were made, and my second grade year, in exact same public school, was amazing–fabulous teacher.
I’ve already bored you with my younger daughter’s history, but still felt compelled to come and give you my support (and bore you with the details!) again. In case you don’t remember, Lydie had a crappy “moyenne section” (we’re in France – “moyenne section” is the 2nd year of kindergarten, for 4-5 year olds) because she was actually in “petite section” (the year below) and got moved up around February (a crap time to change class, if I may say so). My bright, happy little 3-almost-4-year-old who adored her teacher was sobbing every morning within two weeks – everything was “too hard”, and her teacher never “gave her smiley faces on her work” any more, she regressed, she hated school…And they wouldn’t put her back down because they kept telling us we were over-reacting and that she’d be fine. We changed schools (we had to for her older sister anyway and just decided to do both at the same time) and she “repeated” “moyenne section” (although she was actually the right age this time round) and found it unutterably dull. She had reached all the end-of-year targets before the year even began. So she screamed every morning from September to March. She refused to nap (nothing new there, though: she’s barely napped in her entire life), she fidgeted, she became a chatterbox. She made friends, though, and loved her teacher, however unstimulating she was.
Her final year of kindergarten (“grande section”) was actually the breakthrough. She had another teacher she liked – a lot – but this time she actually taught stuff too, so Lydie was stimulated. She stopped screaming every morning, she bounced into school and came bouncing out every afternoon. By Christmas she could more or less read and was ready for 1st grade (it was a loooooong wait till September). She’s just finishing 1st grade now (5 and a half weeks to go!) and has loved it. She still finds the work easy (in France, 1st grade is the year kids learn to read, but Lydie could already read), she still finds it very hard to sit still for more than, oh, 2 nanoseconds, she’s still a terrible, terrible sleeper (and a helluva picky eater, too), but she loves school, has tons of friends and can’t wait for 2nd grade.
I’m sorry this is so long and dull, and I know Lydie and Michael aren’t the same, but hers is a positive story, so that’s good, right? Oh – and there’s an autistic boy in Lydie’s class who had real problems in moyenne section (couldn’t follow instructions, never spoke to anyone, lived in a world of his own) and every year he integrates better. His classroom aid barely helps him at all now and most parents don’t notice he’s different any more (whereas it was obvious before). Also, he’s Lydie’s “amoureux”, though of course he doesn’t know it!
OK, enough. You’re probably in a coma by now…
Enjoy your summer!
You already know some of this, I think, but I can’t remember how much. So, at the risk of being a bore…
My son has always had issues, since he was an infant. Poor sleeper, hard to soothe, etc.
In preschool, he was often in trouble, although we were lucky enough to have teachers that also saw his good points.
Kindergarten was a nightmare. Did you know that you can get suspended from Kindergarten? Neither did I. He was suspended three times in that year for violent behavior. And he struggled with reading, although my impression is that the requirements aren’t as stringent here, as they are where you are located. Sight words and phonics are really the only requirements.
First grade continued to be a struggle. His teacher worked really well with him, but he continued to get in trouble frequently. I honestly don’t remember how many times he was suspended. Two, at least. We began having him evaluated and eventually got an ADHD diagnosis and began with medication. By the end of that school year, things had really turned around.
He continued to do much better this year in second grade. His reading skills took off (he is reading at about a sixth grade level now and is also about a year ahead in Math) and is going to be in the gifted and talented program next year. He hasn’t been suspended once. His teacher loves him.
Hang in there. Don’t be afraid of an ADHD diagnosis, if that is what the issue turns out to be.
It will be ok. Really. Not always easy, but ok.
Oh, I have one for you! I am mostly a lurker but I had to come out and tell you my daughter’s story. She went to private K (and was there for years in pre-school). It was horrible. Constantly getting letters home, talked to etc. ALWAYS getting in trouble. We had the local school department come in and had her set up for an IEP for 1st grade. Everyone agreed she needed it on several accounts. Well, she went to public school this year for first grade. We just had her IEP review meeting and she is doing fantastic! We are actually taking it all away (except for the gifted part). Hang in there. It can happen!!!!!
It can get better.
My oldest son’s kindergarten years were a disaster. In junior kindy I would get daily reports on this, that and the other horrible things he did. I actually lost 10lbs b/c I was so stressed out about the whole situation. I even resorted to sending my husband to pick him up from school b/c I couldn’t stand getting another earful from the teacher. We had him assessed for ADHD (which his teacher INSISTED he had) and he was diagnosed as: within the range of NORMAL.
Senior kindy was marginally better, but his teacher always said: I don’t think he’s going to make it to grade one.
Fast forward to grade one…. In our first meeting with his grade 1 teacher she commented: “I heard that he was a bit of a jitterbug, but I have to say – I haven’t seen any of that in my classroom.” And in fact, he thrived. All his anxious ticks (thumbsucking, fidgeting, chewing the collar on his shirt, etc) magically disappeared because he was no longer anxious in the classroom.
Fast forward to grade two…. and he’s doing great. AND what’s even more impressive is his teacher is a notorious battle-ax who does not like boys. But he’s doing just fine. Is he perfect? Nope – but he certainly isn’t that ‘problem child’ that his kindy teacher painted him to be. (the ironic thing is, guess who takes full credit for his ‘miraculous’ turnaround? Yep, his kindy teacher).
All this long-winded drivel is to say: Jodi, hang in there. Believe in yourself, and believe in your son. It doesn’t matter what comes down the pipe, as long as you believe in your family you’ll be just fine and can handle anything.
Good luck hon!
My kids went to Montessori school as well and did their kindergarten there — oldest had a great transition to first grade in a brand new school where we knew no one and had never entered the building before orientation so i was expecting same for my son who was older than his sister was when she started and very familiar with the school having helped me in my duties as room mom for 2 years, gone to activities there and went to camp there the summer before. HA — he had a very rough transition. Maybe boys have a rougher transition from Montessori and you were wise to get it over BEFORE first grade.
Have a great summer
Michael is going to have an AMAZING summer!!!!!! I am so excited to have it at camp with me. He will also find his way in school. Mitch had an awful 2nd grade year. His 3rd grade year was magical. There is no magic fairy dust or silver bullet. I do know that things can be different and they will get better. Hang in there sis.
Kindergarten was HORRIBLE for us. So was most of 1st grade. But the last two months for us have been amazing. My son has some developmental issues that he’s been in treatment for, so that’s helped some. But also, he’s about to turn 7 this weekend. I think that getting older and more mature is making a huge difference. It does get better.
But I am with you. I am SO ready for summer. I’m sick of the routine.
Hey, so I know I’m late on this and I didn’t read the previous comments, so someone else has probably already said this, but, yes first grade gets easier. Kindergarten is a brutal transition for so many kids. Especially if you don’t have the right teacher. Jack’s kindergarten year was an effing nightmare. First grade was still tough, but he has more challenges than Michael and still it was so, so, so, SO much better. Age helps kids so much. It really does. Hang in there. We’ll get through these last stupid days of school.
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