Doug and I are taking a little parent only vacation the end of this week and beginning of next week. We are flying to California and staying here. (I KNOW!!!!! Not Sponsored).
We NEED this vacation. I am a firm believer in Mommy and Daddy time. We are very lucky to be able to take this vacation and I don't forget that, especially with the economy the way that it is. Part of the resort stay was won at a party for the now defunct SV moms. We are flying on points. I have no idea why I am sharing this information with you, but somehow I feel the need to defend my extragavant travel plans.
This vacation is brought to you by Jodifur. But not in the way that people are giving me free stuff. In the way that I worked for it.
But anyway, moving on, I'm worried, about crazy ridiculous things. I hate to fly, with a passion, and California is a really long flight. I worry about the plane crashing and Michael being left without parents. (I made Doug up our life insurance this week in case this in fact happened. I worried about Michael being left alone and penniless.) And then there is the we are going to be in California! A five hour plan ride! What if there is a crises? We can't get back. Maybe I'll worry about that for a while also.
We are leaving Michael with my parents, not with the dog. I'm pretty sure they can handle any crises that occurs.
We are taking this trip as an early 10 year anniversary trip. (The actual event is in September, 2011, but the gift certificate was expiring and we had the airline miles and my parents could babysit this weekend. Carpe diem right?)
We have amazing things planned. Like sleeping. (That is not a euphemism, I mean sleeping.) And spa treatments and champagne tasting and dinner reservations. I'd also like to read out on my balcony. And maybe sleep some more and drink some more wine. I'd like to have a conversation with my husband that is not interrupted by "Daddy, can you tell me a story about a super hero?" I don't plan on checking my email (for real) or blogs or even twitter. (I'll try on that one.)
But, still, I feel bad. I felt similarly when I left Michael for BlogHer. Like somehow being a mom means you no longer get to be you. (The leaving for BlogHer thing turned out fine except when he got sick and I cried.)
The odd thing is I'm not normally a guilt ridden mom. I don't feel guilty going to work or out to dinner or out with friends. But apparently, kid free vacations are my hot button guilt thing. Also, I really hate to fly. So if I concentrate on feeling guilty, I don't have to concentrate on flying.
We leave in two days. Perhaps I should think about packing.
{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
We take adults only trip (sounds dirty?) on occation. This summer we took a crazy (and totally the same way with points, vouchers, etc) trip to Europe. That was SERIOUS panic. Why’d we do it? Because we felt like it was the “last time” we’d be able to leave for any amount of extended-ish (1 week) time. (Some) grandparents (my mom) will fall over to take care of 1 kid, but we want to have another and after the head count starts to have overpowering ratios, we thought it would be impossible. Anyway, long story long – it was time away, in a crazy far away place and I felt the same guilt, fear, nervousness. In the end? Totally. Worth it. The kid got some good ol’fashion QT with the grandparent and we got to be “us” – a throwback to pre-baby times. It’s easier said than done, but it’ll be worth it. ENJOY!
I had all the exact same fears/guilt when hubby and I flew to Seattle a few months ago. We have NEVER done anything like that before. The thought of leaving my kids and flying across the country was terrifying! But spending the time together and doing adult things was so wonderful. Sometimes you forget what it’s like to just be a couple and not have everything centered around the kids. Our kids were fine while we were gone, of course (they were watched by the grandparents). Have a wonderful time!
Sounds like an amazing trip! I have nothing of wisdom to say about the kid thing, but I do understand the horror that is flying. Hopefully it will be FAR less yucky than you anticipate. Hope you have tons of fun!
When we were in Hawaii, there were a lot of families traveling with their kids (which, don’t these kids have SCHOOL? I don’t get it), and Adam and I determined that until they are older, any kids we have will be staying with the grandparents for their vacation while WE go on our own vacation.
(I’m sure the guilt will kick in once we actually have kids, though.)
Enjoy it! Acknowledge the guilt and then shove it aside and put a rock on it. Michael will have a blast with his grandparents, you will be rested, drunk, and full of reading material.
Have a GREAT time!
My husband and I were supposed to take a 10th anniversary-gift (him to me) trip to Italy. And then he had a ton of work, I had work (this is not a regular occurrence), it would have been a huge amount of work to prep our life for my ILs to watch the kids at our house for 4-5 days. And, to be honest, I did freak out about being a FOUR HOUR PLANE RIDE AWAY OMG if something happened.
Now I supremely sorry we didn’t get over ourselves and just go dammit. Because our 11th anniversary is next week and we’ve spent exactly two nights alone in the past year (courtesy of my visiting parents; the kids slept over in their rental apartment…in the same city).
Hope CA is awesome and relaxing!
Have a great time in CA and enjoy yourself, take the time to be husband and wife. Michael will be fine. I do understand the mommy guilt though, I’ve been there with the mommy guilt. I only left Ashley overnight two times, once to go to Dublin, Ireland for 3 days, that was a 3 nights away type thing because I slept at my cousin’s the night before our early 7 am flight. And the second time was for one night to go to London, UK. I’m doing the 3 days away in Dublin, Ireland again in March (only 2 nights, as I’m not leaving very early, and I’m leaving on my own this time) and I’m already feeling the guilt. But in the end, I know I need that time away and I’m going to see my favorite band in concert in their hometown, a City I absolutely love and I’ll spend St Patrick’s Day there. So anyway, I don’t know why I’m writing all that in a comment, but yeah, I know what Mommy guilt feels like, but I also know you guys will have fun and it’ll be refreshing for the both of you. And so will it be for Michael! Enjoy your trip !! And don’t worry about the flying thing, you have more chances of being involved in a car crash than in a plane crash. (that is meant to be helpful!)
Sounds great!
PS-I’m sure you probably already checked the weather, but there is supposed to be a small storm coming in on Sunday, and it has been unseasonably cold (for here anyway.) Most people think SoCal and think warm, and it may be compared to DC, but it will be cold so don’t forget some warm stuff just in case.
PPS- My husband’s Christmas party is “just up the coast” at the Queen Mary on Saturday night. I’ll send a little wave, you know, since we’ll be about a half an hour apart!
I understand the guilt. Oh I so do.
I also think you guys deserve this. You will have a blast and Michael will be spoiled and probably come home with more Pillow Pets. Maybe he can make them his minions?
Have a great time! I get the guilt. My husband and I went on a cruise when Benjamin was only one. I kept thinking – what if something happens? We can’t exactly swim to shore! But, of course, everything was find and he had a blast. I think the leaving is the hardest part. Once you’re enjoying your ocean view, the guilt should fly out the window.
That all sounds absolutely lovely! Your boy is so lucky to have involved grandparents who will happily take him. My husband and I always say to each other “we need a grandma.” But, my parents are dead and his Mother lives in Europe and is afraid to fly. I bet your boy and your Mom will have a great time and make some wonderful memories. No need to feel guilty about that!
Aw – I can feel the guilt as I read this. I have it too. But we have YET to do a mommy/daddy weekend away. And our girls are 7! I think YOU are more normal to make the trip than I am to NOT make time for it.
HAVE FUN for me too!
ooh girl have fun, you deserve it!
We’re planning a no kids trip for our 10 year anniversary too. We want to go back to St. Lucia to the resort we went to for our honeymoon. Heaven.
That said… I’m already dreading January of 2012 a little bit.
Oh my gosh!!! Enjoy!! What a great gift you are actually giving to Michael—time for his parents to connect which in turn will make his family even stronger than it already is!
Hope you had a fantastic trip, it sounds completely wonderful. I would love to be able to take an adults only vacation!
I used to love to fly. We had friends that would take me up in their Cessna as a kid and I have been skydiving. But I have to say, being a parent does change this a bit. I still don’t mind flying, and have to do it regularly enough for work, that is probably a good thing I’m comfortable with it. But I have to admit 9/11, the underwear bomber and those printer bombs, pop into my head when I fly. I don’t really worry about it much, I know my drive to and from the Airport is far more dangerous. But I do admit I think about what ifs in a way I never did pre-kids. My real issue with flying is that it is a PITA. The security lines, rules, TSA opening my luggage and not closing it all the way so something falls out (yes that happened to me on Friday. The long lines, and silly rules regarding small electronics during take offs and landings….
Glad you enjoyed your vacation, hope the flight wasn’t too stressful.