When I am at BlogHer, later this week (shit, I really need to pack), Michael will be staying with my sister, and his favorite person in the world, my nephew. And for some reason I feel tremendously guilty about this. Last year, when I went to BlogHer, I left Michael with Doug and never thought about it again. But due to the worst timing in the world Doug also has a conference this weekend. And I originally wasn't going to go to BlogHer. But Doug got really sick of my whining and convinced me to ask my sister, and she gladly accepted (because she rocks), but still, I feel bad.
I feel bad for my sister, who has her own life, and her own family, and is taking on my own (challenging) child. I feel bad for Michael, for leaving him to go to BlogHer. Let's be honest here. Blogging is a hobby for me. It is not my job. I leave Michael to go to my job 3 days a week, and I don't normally feel guilty about that, but just recently he gave me a hard time about not going on field trips this summer, which seemed to always be scheduled on days I could not get out of work. And now, I'm leaving him again, for BlogHer. I'm not going to BlogHer to "make contacts" or "build my brand" or for "work." I'm going to BlogHer for fun. And because I want to. I'm leaving my child, because I want to.
Doug is too, but for some reason he has absolutely no guilt whatsoever. How is it that moms and dads are built so differently? And I know other people are leaving their kids. Lots of people are traveling with their spouses. Doug and I are essentially taking separate vacations and dumping my kid on family.
This is ok, right? I know my sister doesn't mind, I've asked her like 20 times. I've offered not to go any which way but Sunday. And if it is a disaster I'll be home on Sunday. (For the record, Michael told me he is always good for Aunt Heather and Aunt Heather, like Nanny, never gets mad at him. He also used the expression "for the record." I'm raising my clone.)
I just want to be able to relax at BlogHer and not worry about Michael. Or my sister. Anyone have any drink tickets they are not using?
***Please wish my mom a Happy Birthday. She is the one who is making sure Michael gets to his field trip on Friday on time. Thanks Mom!