"Michael, can we talk to you for a second?"
This was on Saturday. A blazing hot Saturday and he and Doug were playing catch in the backyard. I had just gotten home from getting my haircut, a new place, a recommendation from Amy. Doug and I had been up late Friday night talking, finally making the decision, and I decided on the drive home I had to tell him, that we had to rip off the band aid.
"Michael next year you are going to go to big boy Kindergarten. Remember the place you went and saw? The playground we sometimes play at? And how some mornings we see kids walking to school? Well next year you and I we will walk to school together. And we will get you a rolling backpack and you will go to school with the big kids. And go to big boy Kindergarten."
"With E?"
"No Honey, E is going to a different school."
"But Michael," Doug said, "this is the school you will go to for the next 6 years (oh please, oh please, oh please) and all the kids in the neighborhood go there. And K up the street goes there."
And we talked about how "big boy Kindergarten" means he has to try to listen more at school. Because big boy Kindergarten is a very big deal. But in the end he just wanted to know if he and Daddy could play again.
So public school. A complete 180 from the first decision I made. And I'm not all that surprised. I think the thing I had been struggling with was that I wanted to change my mind but didn't know how. I'm wimping out and making Doug call the director. Because after one conversation with her I will change my mind again.
The thing that really made me make up my mind was a conversation I had with Michael's teacher on Friday, who I love and think is a great teacher. We were talking, again, about how Michael can't sit at circle time. And what was running through my head is you either get him to sit or you don't, there is nothing I can do about this problem. And it occurred to me that if we keep him here for another year I will be having this conversation for another year. They have no plans to make him sit, they just want me to know he doesn't. And he will go into first grade not sitting. And he can't. He has to learn to play the game, like it or not.
Here is the thing. If Michael is not "fine", and there is a strong possibility that that is the case, if he needs special services, an IEP, a diagnosis, ANYTHING, I would rather get the ball rolling sooner. Let's get him in the system and see how he does. Maybe he will rise to the occasion. Maybe Kindergarten will be everything he needs and he will learn to sit. Maybe it won't. Maybe we will need to go through the IEP process. I don't know. But delaying the transition a year was doing nothing other than delaying the transition a year. And maybe saving me some heartache but costing me a butt load of money.
So in September we will enter public school. Hopefully he will be fine. Maybe he won't. But we will never know if we don't try.
And I promise I won't change my mind again. I may doubt the decision every step along the way, but I won't change my mind.
{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
Congratulations on making your decision. Your logic sounds right on and don’t worry, lots of parents share similar worries about their kids before they start kindergarten. I hope Michael has a great year!
I’m happy for you. I think he will be fine and if not you will
deal with it. Good for you!
Whew! I feel relief for you. It’s going to be such a wonderful relief not to get that report every day, isn’t it? I think sometimes teachers get so focused on one thing about the kids can’t do, that they forget to tell you about all the awesome things they CAN do.
And you’re right, if he’s not fine, better to know now and start getting the help he needs.
Hooray for a decision!
Congratulations on making that decision! We know that it’s been weighing on you for awhile. Like you said, you never know until you try. I tend to think that sitting still is an overrated skill anyway.
Here’s to a great school year at Big Boy Kindergarten for Mr. Michael!
I’m sure everything will be more than fine. I hope that Michael has a great year in Big Boy Kindergarten.
I can’t speak to the specific situation in your area in terms of schools, but as an education professional, I’m a big fan of public schools for students with special needs. You are active, engaged parents and that will go a long way towards making sure he gets a good education wherever he goes. Feel confident in your decision.
He’ll do great! The combo of ‘big boy school’, higher expectations, and a year of maturity is just what he needs. Not only that, but from K-2nd are some huge maturity changes and I’m positive that when he’s 8 you’ll look back on all of this and sigh a big sigh of relief. I think your reasons are spot-on.
Congratulations. Seriously. Feel good about this.
Congrats on making your decision, and Yay for big boy kindergarten! Now enjoy the rest of the summer NOT stressing about this decision!
I don’t like to sit at circle time either! Enough with the singing! Can’t we play now?
Congrats! That must be a huge weight off your shoulders.
Congratulations — it was a hard decision and now that it is made and final you can go have a wonderful summer!!
OK first I’m sure he is fine and even if he is not fine, he will be fine. Lots of smart people, myself included grew up with some label – dyslexic, ADD, stubborn as hell… All it means is he *might* think a little different than the norm, that isn’t a bad thing and is very possibly a good thing. He can grow up to be brilliant and brilliantly successful in anything he chooses. He is a smart kid with smart loving parents – He will be fine.
I am happy for you that you finally decided to decide.
I think that no matter what? He will be okay. He will find his way. You and your husband and the school will help him find his way.
Congratulations on making your decision. It’s the toughest part of being a parent. You & Doug will be there for Michael every step of the way.
Congratulations on having the decision behind you. And may these be 6 fantastic years.
Sounds like you made the right decision. Why move to an area with great public schools if you’re not gonna use them, right?
Some teachers are manic about circle time.
One preschool teacher insisted the 3s sat for two different circle times. All children had to say Good Morning to the teacher even if they were shy or nonverbal — as 3s can still be. My 3-year-old would not say Good Morning on day #3 of 3s preschool. I picked her up to find out that she had had a 30-minute timeout for not saying GM! I am still nonplussed about this. What? My husband is a PhD-educated teacher. He had never heard of such a thing. I made it my business to volunteer one-morning a month and then I would sub for anyone who was sick and went in for all parties. I wanted to make sure it never happened again.
Hindsight? I should have pulled her the next day, but I had no other local options that were open. Her shyness continued well in to elementary school. It is soooo much better now. Counseling was a lifesaver. Supportive teachers too. Although we had lousy teachers in K, 2nd, and 4th….such is the way in elementary school I am afraid.