I was recently in a local bagel place
when a child, who I believe had special needs, not that that makes a
difference to this story, had a temper tantrum. A full on temper
tantrum. On the floor, kicking and screaming, and wailing. And a
woman, a few tables over, SHUSHED THE CHILD. The mother looked at her
mortified. I almost yelled at that woman, but I kept my mouth shut.
And then I read an article
on CNN about a woman who assaulted a three year old who was kicking her
seat on a plane. She grabbed the child and said "you’re not going to
be kicking my seat all the way to Las Vegas” and then slammed the boy
back down onto his seat. And the comments to the article for the most
part agreed with these actions. Did I miss when we stopped turning
around and asking the parent of the child to have the child stop
kicking the seat? The answer is now to ASSAULT CHILDREN?
Keep reading on DC Metro Moms.
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
I would never touch a stranger’s child, but if the kid was kicking my seat on a plane and the parents didn’t do anything about it? You can bet that I’d turn around and tell that kid to knock it off. Actually, come to think of it, I *have* done that before. The kid in question was about 6 or 7, he was definitely old enough to know better. And the parents were ignoring him, so I spoke up. It worked too, the kid stopped kicking my seat.
The public tantrum thing? I usually just say a quick prayer of thanks that it isn’t my kid. Because next time, it probably WILL be my kid.
I have mixed feelings about this. I don’t ever “discipline” other people’s kids. But I have totally watched parents at the park watch their kid hit my kid and the parent do nothing. So, yeah, I am not afraid to say, “We don’t like hitting and if you are going to hit, we’re going to have to play somewhere else.” Because, come on! Of course, there are limits. I would never, NEVER, touch someone else’s child. That’s just not my job. And if the parent was trying to discipline the kid, even if they were failing miserably, I would just ignore it, because the only people who haven’t been there are the people who have never been around a kid.
Jodi, I totally agree! This stuff drives me nuts. My daughter stood up in a shopping cart a few weeks ago and instead of the cashier saying something to me about it, started telling me daughter to sit down, yada yada. I was so mad. I don’t think it is appropriate for other adults (strangers) to address a child when the parent is right there. And I read that article and was stunned at how many of the comments sided with the woman who put her hands on the child. Granted we don’t know the whole story as to whether the child was kicking the seat for 1 minute or 1 hour but either way she should have addressed the mother and NEVER touched the child.
Maybe it’s just my fear of litigation, but I would NEVER touch someone’s kid. Kids of close friends, sure, but never a stranger and never violently. As for saying something, if the parents aren’t paying attention I might gently say something. On a plane, I would keep buzzing the flight attendant and complaining until the parent of the kicking kid is humiliated enough to parent.
Some say you don’t give attention to a kid throwing a tantrum, which is stressful enough without some jerk screaming at your kid. What has happened to empathy?
My house is usually Ground Zero for kid activity and I find myself disciplining a lot but that’s usually stuff like, “We do NOT throw rakes!” and “Quit beating the crap out of each other, I’m running out of ice packs.” I would never lay a hand on someone else’s kid period or discipline a stranger’s child unless they purposefully caused one of my kids bodily harm.
I’m all for “it takes a village” but those instances you described were way out of line in my opinion.
Unless the child was about to hurt herself with her actions, I would never lay hands on someone else’s child. Hell, my child is brilliant at flinging herself to the ground claming I “threw her down” (she’s gonna be an actress, that one), so I would be mortified someone else’s kid would do the same!
Since I started helping out with our children’s youth ministry, I’ve gotten more comfortable disciplining those children because it’s sort of like I’m the teacher and I think I’m sort of expected to. And while I would never say something to someone about their child’s tantrum, in the past I would have judged them silently. And that’s why God blessed me with my own little drama queen. Karma’s a bitch, ain’t she?
Heh. I am glad our McDonalds playground days didn’t last long. I would never touch some other kid but I did give several the evil eye and made sure they heard my point loud and clear if they were annoying me or my kid.
On the other hand, I have also saved a few from near death by catching that thing darting out of my peripheral vision towards the parking lot so I guess it evens out.
Wow if someone put their hands on my kids, even if they were kicking their seat… Well, I probably need a lawyer.