I was recently in a local bagel place
when a child, who I believe had special needs, not that that makes a
difference to this story, had a temper tantrum. A full on temper
tantrum. On the floor, kicking and screaming, and wailing. And a
woman, a few tables over, SHUSHED THE CHILD. The mother looked at her
mortified. I almost yelled at that woman, but I kept my mouth shut.
And then I read an article
on CNN about a woman who assaulted a three year old who was kicking her
seat on a plane. She grabbed the child and said "you’re not going to
be kicking my seat all the way to Las Vegas” and then slammed the boy
back down onto his seat. And the comments to the article for the most
part agreed with these actions. Did I miss when we stopped turning
around and asking the parent of the child to have the child stop
kicking the seat? The answer is now to ASSAULT CHILDREN?
My friend Amy recently wrote a post
about being followed around a mall by a man who thought her special
needs son was too old to be in a stroller. I'm not exactly sure why
this was his business.
Look, I get the whole it takes a village
to raise a child thing. And in my group of friends we will certainly
step in when there is an issue. In fact, my playgroup has an unspoken
rule. Any of us can discipline anyone else's child. It is not
uncommon to hear another mom say "no" to my own son or to break up an
argument between two children. But these are people he has known since
he was six weeks old.
When a parent leaves their child at my
house for a play date I'm sure they would expect me to step in if there
was an issue. And I would expect another parent to step in if my son
needed discipline and I was not around. Or if a child is clearly in
danger, like running into a street, then yes, it is appropriate for a
stranger to interfere.
But look, that mom whose child is having a
temper tantrum in the busy restaurant, she is mortified enough. She
doesn't need your SHUSH. And it is never okay to put your hands on
someone else's child, or follow someone around a mall.
It takes a village only goes so far.
