I have a great husband, I really, really do. And I traditionally get flowers for Valentine's day and we normally mark the day somehow. But this year got all screwed up because we had originally planned to head down to my parents beach house for the long weekend but with all the bad weather we decided not to go away. And I was disappointed because I had planned to spend some time at one of my favorite spas there. But luckily, I had managed to find both a babysitter and a dinner reservation for Valentine's night, so we had plans to go out last night.
This weekend I was feeling very stabby as Michael was feeling the ill effects of being couped up for so long and his behavior was starting to reflect that. He spent a lot of time in time out and I spent a lot of time yelling. I was just tense, and stressed out and pissed off. Angry that my spa day got canceled and angry that it never occurred to Doug that he should try to rebook my appointments at a spa here. Like somehow it was up to him to make a phone call because there was some stupid Hallmark holiday.
And in all honesty I don't even like Valentine's Day. My feeling has always been if someone loves me they should love me everyday of the year and not just one. So why was I pouting because Doug couldn't read my mind? I eventually sucked it up and found an appointment at a newish spa by my house. (The one I normally go to was booked.) And it honestly, it was spectacular. One of the best spas I've ever been to. (Not sponsored and I'm not going to link but if you live in the DC area I'm happy to tell you what it was.)
The morale of this story is sometimes you have to take care of you. Why should I have been miserable waiting for him to do something I am perfectly capable of doing myself? And I would have done every other day of the year? And that made us both happier? I got out of the house and got what I wanted, and he got a less tense and stressed out and wife.
And for the record, he has booked me spa days before, plenty of times. Just not THIS TIME.
And I still got flowers.
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi –
Please share the spa name, I can only plan at the last minute and the one I love in Alexandria is usually booked.
Thanks.
You are so right! So many times we have these silent expectations and then get irked because our spouses (or parents, or others) aren’t mindreaders.
I have to say, that aside from all that freaking snow (cause that’s just nuts!) your valentines weekend was better than mine. We’re all sick, although Tom’s finally on the mend, and I just turned to him last night and asked for a vday do-over when we’re well. We’ve never been much on vday either. Usually just a card and dinner out (because dinner out is always awesome and we’ll take any excuse!)
I’m glad things worked out!
I love this idea of being your own Valentine–because that’s how you get exactly what you need. Being a local, I want to know the spa
And I stumbled this because it’s just damn fine advice.
Please do tell where! I hope they do prenatal. Sometimes the best pampering is the kind we do for ourselves.
Saw your tweet about dry skin – I don’t have twitter so am responding this way. Warm baths, but not too warm/hot, with California Baby wash (any of them) and then lots of Aquaphor. And it has to be name brand Aquaphor. I tried the knockoff CVS kind and the texture was not thick enough. Some people swear by bath every day, some as infrequent as possible. I err on the side of infrequent. If he gets really rough scaly spots those are eczema and the best way to calm flare ups is with a steroid cream. Two of my kids have similar issues, have been to regular doctor, allergist, and dermatologist and this is the advice we consistently get. So I just saved you cash.:)
For Valentine’s Day we usually just go out to dinner. This year, we decided to get all pissed at each other largely due to the effects of too much togetherness, and we spent the entire day being drill sargeants and making the kids clean the areas that had suffered the worst effects from six people, four of them age 10 or less, being cooped up in the house for two damned weeks. The house is manageable now, the kids are back at school, and I intend to have dinner with my husband this weekend.
Glad you got your spa day – name please?