I miss dating. Specifically, I miss dating
my husband. I miss the anticipation of him picking me up and wondering
what we were doing and maybe he would bring flowers. I miss endless
primping and endless goodnight kisses.
Yes, we still have "date nights" but they involve a multitude of
planning, mostly by me. Arranging a sitter and arranging dinner
reservations and making sure we have enough cash to pay the sitter. I
want romance. I want intrigue. And you know what, I don't want to
plan it.
We
are lucky in that we have a few trusted sitters that we can rotate
through, and we are lucky that we can still afford to go out in this
economy. We are also lucky that my four year old is good for
babysitters and they like babysitting for us.
But I miss the old
days. I miss spending the day at the mall shopping for a new outfit
before a big date. I miss not knowing where we are going. I miss not
planning my own date. I miss not calling to check in at 8:30 to make
sure my son is in bed. I miss staying out until all hours because you
know you can sleep in the next day. (Who sleeps in with a four year
old?)
I love my life. And I love my husband and my son and my
family. But sometimes, I really miss the me I was before all the
responsibility. When I could spend hours lingering over a nice bottle
of wine and a good meal and good conversation. When there was nothing
to do but fall in love and envision the future.
The ironic thing is that the future we were envisioning is the future we have now.
