Critical and Judgmental: That's Me!
Last week I went to a training for work. Part of that training was discovering our True colors. You know, some of that What Color Is Your Parachute stuff that is sure to completely change the way you live your life and increase your productivity at work.
I'm a Gold. Which is also, the most boring color of the rainbow. I'm dependable, and conservative. The person you would like to guide you out of a storm and do your taxes. WAHOO! Be my friend. Hang out with me! Let's have a beer and you can be fun and I'll sit there like a lump on a log.
And also, I'm critical and judgmental.
Which reminded me of the fact that when my long term college boyfriend broke up with me he used this classic line: "your critical and judgmental and everyday I fall less and less in love with you." Nice.
Turns out he was right. I'm a gold after all.
But hey, the guy I broke up with him for, I used this great one. After hours of arguing I couldn't get him to understand that yes, we were in fact over. First we were friends. Then we were friends, friends. And then we dated on and off, and then I couldn't handle the on and off and started seeing Mr. "your critical and judgmental." But because we were so on and off he figured he could just debate me in the hallway of my college apartment building until we could be on again. So in order to make him understand we were in fact over, over I said, "best of luck to you in life," and closed my apartment door. In his face. Nice.
College. The time of your life.
So, how about this? Instead of True Colors, we do personality assessments based on our best break up line?



Where I come from, "critical and judgmental" are huge assets. As is gold.
Posted by: Marinka, TMH | 11/04/2009 at 08:49 AM
So weird, I haven't seen you at any of the "C&JA" meetings.
"Hello, my name's Gray Matter, and I'm critical and judgmental."
"You sounded stupid when you said that, try again."
Posted by: Gray Matter Matters | 11/04/2009 at 08:54 AM
Come do my taxes? We'll drink wine and judge people. It will be a Happy Drunken Snarkfest.
Posted by: Julie | 11/04/2009 at 09:23 AM
"Best of luck to you in life"??!!! Oh my. I love that.
Sadly, being a cranky bitch until they break up with you doesn't really count as a good breakup line.
Posted by: Liz | 11/04/2009 at 09:44 AM
I'm not familiar with the True Colors program, but if the assessment is work-based, I'd say dependable, conservative, critical and judgmental are key traits, especially in your field.
Plus, gold is sparkly and shiny... not boring.
Posted by: stephanie | 11/04/2009 at 09:48 AM
When I was 21 and verrry drunk, I found out that my then-boyfriend was cheating on me. I told him to get out of my house, and for added emphasis, I threw an empty bottle of vodka at him as he was leaving. I missed, and I am such a lame thrower that the bottle bounced off the carpet, it didn't even break. Sigh. Rage FAIL.
Funny thing, though, I ran into the guy about a year later at a bar, and he was like, "Man, I have to tell you, you were the most efficient break-up I've ever had! You never called to pick a fight or to try to get back together or anything! And a few weeks later, somebody asked me what happened to you, and I said, 'You know, she told me to f*** off, and I think she really meant it!'" Which, I have to admit, kinda made me laugh.
Posted by: cindy w | 11/04/2009 at 10:32 AM
I took that same test - and I'm gold too. SOLID GOLD. Blue (the emotional color? I think?) didn't even register on my list. When I broke it off with my long term bf, he said it was for the best since I "take rules too seriously and am also mean before my morning coffee." It's true, I always play UNO by the rules (and win). Golds are made of teh awesome.
Posted by: Kate | 11/04/2009 at 10:34 AM
"Best of luck to you" is one of my go-to lines.
Posted by: magpie | 11/04/2009 at 11:01 AM
I'm a gold, too.
Took the test during my first job, when I was hired to work with college students, and I was only three minutes past being a college student myself.
They were all blues and oranges and I thought I might as well be wearing a sign that said, "Hello, I'm old and boring."
But, I wear my gold proudly. Uptight and proud.
Posted by: Mama Bub | 11/04/2009 at 11:57 AM
yeah we could play that way, but the love of my life didn't even dump me with a line after 4 years. He just married a fat girl from Wisconsin and let all my friends tell me about it.
Posted by: elizabeth | 11/04/2009 at 02:19 PM
Even though I have a psychology degree and have been in HR for more years than I care to admit, I always find these personality inventories to be bunk. They are just too subjective and subject to bias and people are far too complicated and messy to fit into neat little characters.
I think the worst thing I did in a breakup was not so much what I said, but the fact that it was by voice mail. Pretty cruddy, I know.
Posted by: Corey J Feldman | 11/04/2009 at 03:44 PM
Heh. We just did that test; I was blue. A friend was gold, and now everytime she volunteers to type the agenda/facilitate a meeting/gather materials/whatever, I just look at her and say, "You're so gold." She then turns to me and says, "Shut up, blue girl, before I get all critical of you." Great conversations to be having in an elementary school!
Posted by: JZMom | 11/04/2009 at 07:51 PM
After 5yrs of never being good enough, skinny enough, fun enough, etc. I had finally had enough. As he was begging me to stay yet calling me 'selfish' at the same time I simply looked at him & said "If you never remember a thing I say, remember this, always THINK before you speak to someone you 'love'".
Posted by: Traci | 11/04/2009 at 09:05 PM
"You are like crack and I can't be your junkie anymore. I'm getting back on the wagon."
Oh wait, I married that guy. I'm still a junkie.
I bet I'm gold too.
Posted by: Vicky | 11/05/2009 at 02:59 PM
We did those assessment tests all the time at my workplace too. I've never done the TrueColors assessment but I have a feeling I'd lie in or near the gold color too. Dependable and judgmental - dependably judgmental. Yeah that's me. I've tried to remember some of my break-up lines but I can't (I blame my flu-brain). I doubt anything I came up with was as good as "best of luck to you in your life".
Posted by: Marilyn | 11/06/2009 at 01:27 PM
I've always been a fan of:
Take care...
of yourself...
because I'm not going to anymore.
Posted by: Jennifer June | 11/09/2009 at 10:42 AM