Overcoming Fear

by Jodifur on June 22, 2009

Yesterday Michael attended his first swim class without parental support.  It is called pre-beginner 1 and it is designed for children with "basic water skills."  I knew we were pushing Michael a little bit by enrolling him in this class.  He was at the young age range for the class, and he is terrified of the water.  But we had hit a wall at the preschool swim class.  He refused to participate.  And one thing I have learned with Michael, if you take a parent out of the equation, he does much better.  He is stubborn for me.  He behaves for other people.

We had been preparing him for this by doing some one on one swim lessons with a fabulous instructor, who had incredible patience with him.  She helped him hold onto the barbell and kick and even put his head under the water.  But this was not the instructor for this class and there were 5 other kids in the class.  All who were about a year older and noticeably less terrified.

The class begins with a lecture about how if your kid was not ready they would ask you to withdrawal.  One class.  They give 4 year olds one chance to perform.  I was giving this 80/20 odds and it was not in favor of going well.

When we left Michael at the pool and explained we were just going to be watching right upstairs, it was clear he was barely holding it together.  He followed the teacher and the other kids into the water, but adamantly refused to leave the wall on the side of the pool.  The teacher asked him to grab a hold of the barbell and kick out to her and he refused to leave the wall.

She moved on to the other kids and came back to him and he did it.  A little shaky, not perfect, but he did it.  And when he turned out and looked up at us with a huge grin on his face and a big thumbs up, we gave him a thumbs up back.  His pride in himself was apparent.

And that was the whole class.  He would refuse to do something, the rest of the kids would go, he would go last, and do fine.  And he always ended with a big thumbs up towards us.  And he was so proud of himself.

And the last exercise, floating on his back, he actually raised his hand to go first.  And he did.

When we went to get him from the pool he was beaming.  And he said to me, "Mommy, you should try things.  Sometimes you like them."  And I said, "Michael, it is ok to be scared.  But the important thing is that you did it anyway."

And that is a lesson I need to remember sometimes myself.

{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

Rose Burkholder June 22, 2009 at 8:22 am

There’s so much we can learn from kids. Great post.

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kim/hormone-colored days June 22, 2009 at 8:23 am

I’m glad it went well. Hooray for Michael for being brave and how wonderful that his bravery paid off. I sense this story will be retold many times as he faces new challenges, “Remember those swimming lessons…”

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Janna June 22, 2009 at 8:24 am

Good for Michael, and good for you for being brave enough to let him go on his own. I have trouble with that sometimes, especially when I know he is nervous (I think sometimes my nerves for him rub off onto him!

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pgoodness June 22, 2009 at 8:37 am

Good for both of you! That letting them try on their own is sometimes the hardest part, isn’t it?
Thanks for the reminder that we can learn (or re-learn) so many things from our kids if we just pay attention. It’s hard to do in the craziness of everyday life.

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sarah June 22, 2009 at 8:44 am

Glad you had a good experience. My 3 y/o goes to his first non-parent swim lesson in about an hour, so this was a good read for me today.

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Angel June 22, 2009 at 9:34 am

Well done Michael ! That’s a great lesson to be learnt. I’m glad it ended up going well in the end.

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Corey Feldman June 22, 2009 at 9:36 am

I taught swimming for more years then I care to admit and found children typically do better when the parents are nowhere in site. Of course that hasn’t stopped my from trying to teach Josh myself…

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BananaBlueberry June 22, 2009 at 1:13 pm

it’s a great lesson for us all :)

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Angela June 22, 2009 at 1:21 pm

What courage! Great job Michael! I know you must be so proud of yourself!

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gorillabuns June 22, 2009 at 9:45 pm

my child is like my mother – afraid of life. I try so hard to make sure she tries something at least once to make her mind up that it’s too much for her. I say this because my mother didn’t let me try many things because of her fear, not mine. In turn, i so missed out on a lot of things/adventures/events.

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Andrea June 22, 2009 at 10:29 pm

As parents we think that we are supposed to educate our children, but may times they teach us the best lessons in life.

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Lauren June 23, 2009 at 11:32 am

Way to go, Michael!!!

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