I spent a perfectly lovely weekend in NYC with my mom and sister. Theater, shopping, and cupcakes. Magnolia cupcakes to be exact. Those, are a damn good cupcake. And I am a cupcake connoisseur.
My sister would like me to interject a few things. I told her to get her own blog. She would like to know why people stop, just stop dead in the middle of the streets of NYC. And what is up with all the people who come late into the theater, therefore disrupting your enjoyment of the show. And the loud talking. She wants me to write a whole stupid people blog. But that is not this blog, this blog is about the stupid people of AMTRAK.
When the time came to go home I was ready. I missed my boys. I was tired from all the walking. I had a crap load to do because the house goes on the market a week from tomorrow. (Hold me.) I needed to blog. I needed to shower. I wanted to go the gym today. None of that happened because a 3 hour train ride became 6 and instead of getting home at 7 I got home at 11. Yep, you read that right. It was like flying with me. Except no one lost my luggage and Amtrak actually apologized for the delay instead of laughing and saying fuck you like the airlines.
Someone apparently jumped in front of a New Jersey PATH train. Which I totally do not blame AMTRAK for. What I do blame AMTRAK for is every 5 minutes of the hour we are stopped announcing to us that they have no news and then we start moving very, very slowly and that never come back on and tell us what the hell is going on.
And then, and then, there was the piece d'resistance. We get to Wilmington, and we think we may have a glimmer of hope of getting home before midnight and the conductor, who every time he got on the loud speaker made me want to start singing I've been working on the railroad, announces that every one needs to get off this train and get on another train, which is empty. Something about crew shift and our crew had been working too long and some such nonsense. Which makes no sense. Why would they move 200 people as opposed to moving the 10 person crew?
So we grab all our luggage. And people start pushing and shoving and you would think we were getting off a sinking ship except people on the Titanic were nicer. And then, and then, they announced we should get back on the ORIGINAL TRAIN.
And that is when my sister looked at me and said, "you had bad travel karma." Which I warned Amy when we decided to fly together to BlogHer. With a baby. (Sorry Ezra. And Amy. I bet we get there 12 hours late with no luggage.)
The one adorable thing was the strangers behind us who started talking. A man and a woman in their twenties. Who are totally going to start dating after this fiasco and get married and have babies. And their wedding announcement is going to thank AMTRAK. At least that is what I told myself as I made up a story for them in my head to keep me amused. I wanted to take a picture of them with my iphone camera for their engament party slide show. Too much? Yeah, I thought so so I didn't mention it.
I hate to fly and now trains aren't exactly my friend. I'm not exactly sure I'm a bus person. What does this leave me with. Walking? Driving? Boat? Carrier pigeon?
AMTRAK. YOU ARE ON NOTICE.
I blame the jeweler. For no other reason than I can. And because on Thursday we had another screaming argument about my ring in which he hung up on me, so it might as well be his fault.