Why I Think Oprah Was Wrong

I confess, I watched the Oprah with all the Mommy bloggers.  I have no idea why.  I don't watch Oprah.  I take that back, I rarely watch Oprah.  I don't read Dooce, and I have never idea who the rest of them were.  And I've never seen a Momervasation.  But I got sucked in by the ad and I DVRed it.

And feel free to flame me now, and yell at me in the comments, but I hated it.  I thought it was a bunch of people whining for no reason.  You don't want a mini van?  Don't get one.  You don't want to do arts and crafts?  Don't do them.

Of course motherhood is hard.  I would never say it wasn't.  But sitting around and whining about it and joking about it isn't going to make it any easier.  Oprah has an amazing platform to talk about things we could do to make motherhood easier and she wasted it on on not showering and wanting take out.  So take a shower and order dinner.

Let's talk about public breast feeding laws, and the fact that in Canada you get a year of leave, and the difference between paternity and maternity leave.  Let's take about health insurance coverage and whether school schedules actually allow moms to work.  Let's talk about why moms are so competitive with each other and why when kids come into the picture we stop paying attention to our partners.

Let's talk, let's really talk.  Because whining is not going to make a difference. 

I'm not anti talking about it.  I'm not saying we always have to be positive and never speak the truth.  But let's be constructive.  I don't let my four year old whine, and I don't think moms should whine either.

And yes, I fully expect none of these people to talk to me at BlogHer.  And I'm okay with that.  I'm entitled to my opinion.  That's why I have a blog. 

Comments

[Jen]

Hi Jodi,
I read every day and rarely comment (b/c I am just that lazy...)
Anyway, this paragraph:

Let's talk about public breast feeding laws, and the fact that in Canada you get a year of leave, and the difference between paternity and maternity leave. Let's take about health insurance coverage and whether school schedules actually allow moms to work. Let's talk about why moms are so competitive with each other and why when kids come into the picture we stop paying attention to our partners.

This is why I read your blog. Totally and completely right on. I don't watch Oprah and didn't see this episode so I have no comment on it but everything you right about is what we need to address.

Jen

[Kris]

I totally agree with you. I didn't watch beacuse I didn't want to hear the whining. If you want to talk, then lets talk. Talk to work through the issues and try to find solutions. Whining gets you nowhere. And I'm proud to say that there are days I don't shower and we do a lot of take out. You won't catch me whining about that :)

[Lynn]

Jodi,
Thank you for sharing another perspective. While I do enjoy reading the humorous tale about motherhood, the antics of our children, and the 'hassles' of daily life - I agree that there is so much more we can do to improve the world - our world.

I watched the first 10 - 15 minutes of the show; then went back to work on a volunteer project for a social service agency.

[CT Mom]

Hi - I watched this yesterday, and found it funny but really superficial. Would have loved more about partner relationships and how to really deal with the changes once the baby comes. They barely touched on working mom & SAHM or even in-between, like me - I work 80% from home and care for my school age kids, and I don't fit in with any of the mom groups here in town. I get more out of Twitter and my blog - lol! So it was ok - I watched it and then deleted it off my DVR. I've kept other Oprah episodes that were much more informative.

[The Yummy Mummy]

I, however, will speak to you at Blogher. I might even hug you. Or do something gushy and inappropriate.

I watched the show and I was, to be frank, kind of bored. So much time spent saying nothing surprising or provocative or thoughtful about motherhood. It seemed like this kind of "exposing motherhood for all it's clumsiness and craziness" might have been revolutionary a few years ago, but now it feels nearly passe.

Um, yeah, it's crazy and clumsy...duh.

The "confessions" on the show were meant to be funny and outrageous, but really they were a snore. Really, diapers are the only thing you have that's funny or shows how crazy being a mom can be? Eh...It was a waste of 40 minutes.

I'm all for being funny and mocking ourselves. I do it routinely on my blog and in real time. But the drama in the the form of whining you refer to is a time-waster. And it's yesterday's news. Thanks for a no-bullshit point-of-view from someone rational, smart and on top of her game. Good for you!

Kim

[Colleen]

I didn't see the show but I still agree with your view. If you're going to get a platform like Oprah lets hear real issues discussed. I would much rather have decent paid maternity leave than a daily shower. Let the country worry about maternity leave and I'll take care of my own shower - thanks!

[Karen MEG]

I also rarely watch Oprah, but like you, also was suckered in by the knowledge that mommy bloggers would be on. While there were a couple of pretty funny moments, overall it was quite whiney and boring. Now I wonder how much editing had to do with it, the pre-recorded videos etc. And I don't know about you, I think Oprah looked like she wasn't THAT into it either. It was superficial, and re-hash of a lot of topics with a wide brush.

My first time here, and I like it. So I'll look for you in Chicago, 'kay ;)?

[Kellyology]

I think before you talk about more serious issues you have to pull the people in. And quite frankly if you start with a diatribe about breast feeding in public, etc., you are going to turn so many people off that few will listen. But if you start with a "whine" that perhaps every mother has experienced, pulling them into your world by making them feel part of it instead of inferior for having a real issue about the not dealing well with the unexpected life changes that being a mother brings, they then might listen to the issues that are important to you. This is exactly what Oprah does. She has shows like this one to draw the viewers in, and then she talks about more serious issues...on a regular basis. A waste of your time perhaps, but good marketing none the less...

[Adrienne]

Probably not fair for me to comment since I didn't watch Oprah but I completely agree that there needs to be more discussion around public breast feeding laws, the length of maternity and paternity leave, about health insurance, about being competitive with other moms, about losing your identify as a person, about how your relationship with your partner changes, about work schedules, etc.

As much as I dislike Oprah she DOES have an amazing platform to talk about things that would make motherhood easier and and would bring a light to true "issues". And I agree with a previous poster - just because I enjoy reading about the craziness of parenthood on a blog and can relate, it's not "revolutionary" to expose that on a TV show, it's "passe". There's nothing new to cover from that perspective (in my opinion - which is why I wouldn't have tuned in to watch).

I really, really hope you don't get flamed for, you know, having an opinion that might be different than someone else. And the fact that you even think you may get flamed makes me a little sad but I'm so glad you went ahead and wrote what you did anyway. But that goes right back to why we feel the need to compete and vilify a mother for her choices when they are different than our own. It's one of the most puzzling things to me about being a mother - we all talk about how hard it is and I'm always amazed when the trash-talking starts over someone doing something different. As long as you're not putting your kids in danger or are neglecting them shouldn't I be supporting you as a fellow parent that you are doing the best that you can even if it's not what I would do?? Isn't that what you would do for a friend? I just don't get it.

I'm glad that you wrote this post. :)

[Her Bad Mother]

*HIGH FIVE*

I didn't watch, but - based on what you've said here - totally agree. Blogging about being a slackermom is one thing (I certainly do it), but when you've got the Oprah-platform? Why not use it to really get at some issues?

[Hope]

I think that it's important to be able to let off some steam occasionally. I whine about stupid stuff on my blog that pales in comparison to larger issues.

However, I am with you that it seems kindof silly to whine about stupid little stuff when you have Oprah's ear.

[Robin]

I agree. Being able to raise a child is nothing to whine about.

[smags]

Right On Jodi!

[Erin]

I didn't watch, so I can't comment, but I do agree that there are definitely serious parenting related issues that could be addressed. Certainly, Oprah is partially for entertainment, but that's not to say that one can't be entertaining, then open up to more serious issues.

[aimee]

I didn't watch it either so can't say if they were really whining or not. BUT, I do totally agree with what you wrote. I feel the same way about the whole "mommy guilt" thing. I do what I can do and I don't feel guilty about the rest!

[Elisa]

Great post!

[Brooke]

Ok, so after I read this I clicked through the episode synopsis on Oprah's site (here: http://www.oprah.com/article/oprahshow/20090311-tows-mom-truth/1) because I didn't see it...

How ridiculous. I completely agree with you. Yes, we do dumb things as mothers sometimes, but we also have REAL issues, like the ones that you listed, that need to be heard and dealt with.

[Carrie]

Yeah, I stayed up late to watch the re-broadcast of Oprah, then I turned it off after 5 minutes. Because already the attitude was driving me crazy. Sure, being a mom is hard, but it's not a gulag, for God's sake. Especially for these very upper-middle class women who came on first. When I think about what other mothers in other times and places go through and went through, being a middle class SAHM/WAHM of 2 is pretty darn luxurious.

Not that their book didn't sound fun -- I might check it out. I don't disagree that moms should be honest with one another and share. I guess I didn't get it when they talked about moms keeping it a secret that it's hard, because when I get together with other moms we do what other people do everywhere -- we bitch about our problems and laugh.

[ballerinatoes]

I watched also, and was very disappointed. I'm not even a Mom! And I really enjoy Dooce! It was pre-taped, so I'm guessing somewhat edited. It would have been better if it was live and all the women were there instead of by skype. I watched because the woman who has been my best friend since grade school is struggling with being a mom and life in general. She is so angry. I think reality isn't what her expectations were and I'm not sure what to do. I was hoping for something that would help her. I got nothing.

[Susan]

I didn't see the episode (I wanted to, but my DVR had other plans). I agree with everything you are saying, and I am disappointed that the episode didn't have more sustenance because I had assumed that it would.

[PunditMom]

You know I TOTALLY agree with you on this and I've taken your challenge to write about it, as well. I also don't watch Oprah and I did catch part of the show because I wanted to see who I knew (if anyone!). If we can move past this episode and convince Oprah that 30 million + women bloggers are a force she can work with, we can change the world.

Yeah, I'm all crazy and optimistic like that!

[Marinka]

Dooce may have been on Skype, but Oprah was the one who phoned it in, in my opinion.

My take: Oprah was bored out of her fucking mind, as was I. I love most of the bloggers profiled, but really? You don't like snot and poop? Who woulda thunk it?

And yes, breaking news: Motherhood is exhausting!

But here's where I disagree with you: Whining is important. Whining is how we bond. If you can make whining funny (like Stefanie from Baby on Bored--saying that she could relate to a neutered dog when she got a minivan) it closes all sorts of gaps among women and makes it relatable.

So my biggest disappointment wasn't that the show "spilled the secrets on Mommyhood", it's that it didn't. We all adore our children and we hate arts and crafts. That's not a secret. And no one is brave enough to say what the secret really is. Because it's not cute or funny. It's heartbreaking.

[She Likes Purple]

My husband hates Oprah, so for whatever it's worth, I'm sure he would absolutely agree with you!

The show's topic was "mom's true confessions" (or something similar) so the topic never promised an intense discussion about what needs to change in terms of our culture's attitude (and laws) regarding mothers. But as someone who watches Oprah fairly regularly, that doesn't mean she's never touched on those topics or never will again. I absolutely agree (as someone who just went back to work eight weeks after the baby was born) that maternity leave laws are tragic and that even though there's a very serious pro-breastfeeding mentality in the U.S., it's not backed up by its laws (it's incredibly difficult to exclusively breastfeed while working 40 hrs a week, especially if the company doesn't provide a place to pump and most companies aren't required to).

With all that being said, Oprah isn't a news show. Yes, she covers headline news (she did a show on relationship abuse among teens and young adults right after the Chris Brown/Rhianna incident) but she doesn't have a responsibility to only touch on serious issues. She's done sex crimes in the same week as tidying your house and ridding your life of clutter. She's covered the polygamy raid in Texas the same week as Justin Timberlake has been on. With all THAT being said, I think her audience is primarily women, and primarily moms and her topics show that moms are interested in many things, from serious topics to lighthearted ones.

I think the show delivered what it promised to, and I don't think because it didn't cover deeper issues that it didn't serve its purpose. As a new mom (and perhaps that's skewing my perception a bit) I enjoyed it, really. I didn't find the guests whiny, but after much Twitter browsing, I think I stand alone in that. I'm coming from a place where many (most, actually) of my friends offline don't talk about motherhood as a difficult job. I knew it would be hard, sure, but I didn't know how I would feel and those feelings knocked me over like a freight truck. I felt sadness and anxiety and then guilt over those first two emotions. I couldn't laugh at any of my shortcomings those first weeks, and this episode allowed me to feel a little less alone and to laugh that when I bought my son formula the other day, I also picked up some wine, as well. I told the cashier, "We both need a drink." And, guess what, she didn't laugh. There was no connection between us, and I think that's what I liked about the show, connecting to other mothers over things we're not always proud of. Things that we're sort of culturally programmed to feel shame over. It's nice to not feel alone and to talk -- even somewhat superficially -- about the things that the parenthood books and the baby shower games just don't tell you.

Being a long-time viewer of Oprah, I wouldn't be surprised if she covers the topics you mention in another, upcoming episode. She does that a lot (follow-up shows). I know one episode I remember pretty well from a past season was alcoholism in stay-at-home moms, and I thought that show was powerful. The desperation of many stay-at-home moms and the guilt for not enjoying the job. So, she doesn't always take a lighthearted look at motherhood.

And this is officially the longest comment in the history of the world. You know I adore you. Sometimes it's totally okay to disagree, especially about Oprah, ha.

xoxo

[She Likes Purple]

My husband hates Oprah, so for whatever it's worth, I'm sure he would absolutely agree with you!

The show's topic was "mom's true confessions" (or something similar) so the topic never promised an intense discussion about what needs to change in terms of our culture's attitude (and laws) regarding mothers. But as someone who watches Oprah fairly regularly, that doesn't mean she's never touched on those topics or never will again. I absolutely agree (as someone who just went back to work eight weeks after the baby was born) that maternity leave laws are tragic and that even though there's a very serious pro-breastfeeding mentality in the U.S., it's not backed up by its laws (it's incredibly difficult to exclusively breastfeed while working 40 hrs a week, especially if the company doesn't provide a place to pump and most companies aren't required to).

With all that being said, Oprah isn't a news show. Yes, she covers headline news (she did a show on relationship abuse among teens and young adults right after the Chris Brown/Rhianna incident) but she doesn't have a responsibility to only touch on serious issues. She's done sex crimes in the same week as tidying your house and ridding your life of clutter. She's covered the polygamy raid in Texas the same week as Justin Timberlake has been on. With all THAT being said, I think her audience is primarily women, and primarily moms and her topics show that moms are interested in many things, from serious topics to lighthearted ones.

I think the show delivered what it promised to, and I don't think because it didn't cover deeper issues that it didn't serve its purpose. As a new mom (and perhaps that's skewing my perception a bit) I enjoyed it, really. I didn't find the guests whiny, but after much Twitter browsing, I think I stand alone in that. I'm coming from a place where many (most, actually) of my friends offline don't talk about motherhood as a difficult job. I knew it would be hard, sure, but I didn't know how I would feel and those feelings knocked me over like a freight truck. I felt sadness and anxiety and then guilt over those first two emotions. I couldn't laugh at any of my shortcomings those first weeks, and this episode allowed me to feel a little less alone and to laugh that when I bought my son formula the other day, I also picked up some wine, as well. I told the cashier, "We both need a drink." And, guess what, she didn't laugh. There was no connection between us, and I think that's what I liked about the show, connecting to other mothers over things we're not always proud of. Things that we're sort of culturally programmed to feel shame over. It's nice to not feel alone and to talk -- even somewhat superficially -- about the things that the parenthood books and the baby shower games just don't tell you.

Being a long-time viewer of Oprah, I wouldn't be surprised if she covers the topics you mention in another, upcoming episode. She does that a lot (follow-up shows). I know one episode I remember pretty well from a past season was alcoholism in stay-at-home moms, and I thought that show was powerful. The desperation of many stay-at-home moms and the guilt for not enjoying the job. So, she doesn't always take a lighthearted look at motherhood.

And this is officially the longest comment in the history of the world. You know I adore you. Sometimes it's totally okay to disagree, especially about Oprah, ha.

xoxo

[Jill]

I agree with you 100%!

[Nina]

I can not stand Oprah. She consistently falls short of doing the right thing or more on every hot button topic she selects. She never fails to disappoint me. Never.

[Cagey]

The entire episode was frocking bullshit. I am really tired of mommybloggers acting like we have created something unique and that mothers never, EVER talked about how hard motherhood was before. That's hogwash - the likes of humorists such as Erma Bombeck and Theresa Bloomingdale were writing about poop and snotty noses well over TWO DECADES ago. Get a grip. While we have created a COMMUNITY here, we are not really discussing much that is new.

Hell, my own mother was very, very free with her gripes about all the responsibilities of motherhood. Believe, I got to hear ALL about it. Thank the Lord above my own mother did not have a blog so that I could have read in intimate detail how tied down she felt, how much she resented the responsibility and how I got in the way of her social. THANK GOD.

[Mike]

And so should Dads.

Mike
http://somethingaboutparenting.typepad.com

Twitter: AboutParenting

[magpie]

I've never watched Oprah, and I'm not sorry I missed this. Hope to meet you in Chicago.

[annie]

The term "mommy blogger" incenses me. I am a writer.

I don't watch Oprah. I admire her but I think she lost touch with real women a long time ago.

[Sandy]

I'm always late to the party, but I just wanted to say THANK YOU THANK YOU for being so fearless and saying what the rest of us won't. Momversations? Really?

[Los Angelista]

Amen! I felt the same way and wrote about it yesterday. I also thought the show and the dynamics on it brought up some really disturbing questions around race, class and motherhood.

[Angela]

I didn't watch it. I actually have a hard time pulling myself away from the computer long enough to watch tv.

In trying to give them the benefit of the doubt in coming up with this show, maybe it wasn't really for bloggers. I mean, we all GET it. We use our blogs to rant, and yes, whine when we need to, and we read other bloggers rants and whines too. So we KNOW we're not alone out there.

But maybe they were more thinking their audience were moms who don't blog or twitter, etc. Those who maybe are still thinking they're they only ones out there trying to muddle through this motherhood gig. Maybe those folks got something more out of it.

Maybe.

Or maybe they just edited out all the heavy stuff. LOL

I WISH I was going to blogher so I could meet you in person!

[Nina]

I have watched enough of her shows to know she misses the point. Example: I watched the show on Transwomen thinking it was great for Oprah to show the world how some women live. Then I realized she was featuring ONLY white, middle class trans women (one Asian woman) who could afford the horomones and SRA surgeries and who had supportive partners. What she should have done was feature the young women of color trans girls who do all sorts of unmentionable things to afford their horomone shots. Who get kicked out of their houses and live on the street because of who they are. Her money and her exposure could have helped SOME trans girl SOMEWHERE, but no. She failed. Miserably. I told her about it in an e mail. All I got in return was a discount offer for O magazine which kills more trees to produce than I care to mention. EPIC FAIL.

[Boston Mamas]

THANK GOD.

I was DM'ing with Susan Getgood about this topic and she directed me to your post. I was skeptical when I saw the ads for the Oprah episode but wanted to tune in because some of my blog friends were going to be on.

Unfortunately, the episode was just what I had anticipated -- very surface-y and a lot of complaining about basic issues that aren't exactly secret, as you pointed out. I ended up turning it off when they got to the sex segment because: a) I was disappointed; and b) my 4yo already was asking why there was so much potty talk on TV.

The other issue that I brought up with Susan was that I found it odd that none of the bloggers other than Dooce received URL credit. I mean, I get that Dooce is the mother of all bloggers, but not including the URL's made it seem like they just found a group of random women around the country to skype and subsequently failed to point out the fact that there is this amazingly powerful current of honesty about the good, bad, and ugly of motherhood. And that in this current runs content and reflection far deeper than diaper and mealtime travails.

Thanks for sharing your point of view. -Christine

[mandi]

I agree with the issues that you raised, but it just wasn't that kind of show. It was about "mommy confessions" ... I found it entertaining (sometimes Oprah is newsy & sometimes she's entertaining or both). Rarely is she ever "right on", on anything!! The reason I rarely watch her! But still your points are good.

[Damselfly]

"Let's talk about public breast feeding laws, and the fact that in Canada you get a year of leave, and the difference between paternity and maternity leave. Let's take about health insurance coverage and whether school schedules actually allow moms to work. Let's talk about why moms are so competitive with each other and why when kids come into the picture we stop paying attention to our partners." Right on! Let's get to the meaty issues.

[Jen]

Oh my. I COULD NOT AGREE MORE. I actually liked what Heather had to say, and didn't find that she was complaining. Everyone else? Gave me a headache. I am NOT an Oprah fan and RARELY watch her - I only watched because Dooce was going to be on. (And the only other time I watch is when Jennifer Aniston is on.)

Thank you for posting this.

[Sarah]

I didn't watch Oprah so I can't really speak to the content of the show. However, I agree with you in that there are major topics that we as a community of mothers should be discussing....the ones you list being some of the biggest ones right now. (I think every other country has a better maternity leave policy than the US and yet supposedly we are the most progressive and civilized...yeah right). In response to the whining...again I didn't see it so I don't know specifically, but I know I whine at times out of frustration or just to commiserate with someone in a similar predicament, so I don't know that all whining is bad, but I think it should be followed by some real discussions about real issues that affect us as mothers.

[Elisa Camahort Page]

Just watched this last night at a friend's house. I guess I thought it was going to be a show actually *about* mommyblogging, and some issues around that...perhaps talk about how it can diminish the feeling of isolation that they mentioned copiously but never offered solutions for, perhaps talk about how individual women can raise their voices and tell their own stories and not wait for some publishing company to deem those stories valuable enough to be in a book, perhaps talk about how women can ignore all those media-stirred-up controversies to take real action...whether raising money for March of Dimes or protesting Facebook policies on breastfeeding pictures. Hey, even talk about the privacy and online safety issues and whether they're overblown or on target.

I just didn't know it was going to be so generic.

I had heard they wouldn't be able to mention their blogs on the show, so then when they did that segment on Heather I was shocked. I understand the concept of not wanting to look like one is *endorsing* the blogs, but the authors got to mention their book title, no?

I don't watch Oprah, so I just found the whole thing weird, personally. And this comment is so long, it means I should write a post about it.

[Stacy]

Holy Cow I am behind. I watched it. I felt a little commraderie (oops, no spell check in comment field) ... anyway, I like knowing that I'm not alone but yeah, the complaining angle was a bit much. I prefer to bitch to girlfriends off the record.

Your post really gained my respect with this:

"Let's talk about public breast feeding laws, and the fact that in Canada you get a year of leave, and the difference between paternity and maternity leave."

Because, you are right, Oprah has serious clout and I know non-Oprah watchers who tuned in for that episode alone and if that much power can be garnered for a show that is a bitchfest, that much support SHOULD be gathered and lobbied for the points you make above.

Now, to read all the comments left by others, I'm interested to see what the other readers thought.

Finally, guess I REALLY NEED TO GET A TICKET to BlogHer, you know, in case NO ONE else talks to you. Heh. Kidding. We love you.

[jenn]

good on you, babe! Having not watched the show, I'm hardly qualified to comment on it, but I totally agree with the importance of the topics you raised (and, hey, in some European countries, you can get up to five years off - not all paid, but you get to go back to your old job after).

It's a disappointing bordering on disturbing that what could have been an amazing forum turned into a bitch session about non-stuff.

Maybe she'll get it right next time...

(now go collect your hugs at BlogHer!)

[Ange]

Bravo! You're not alone- I felt the same way about this episode. It was amusing and all, but I actually spent most of the hour feeling really embarrassed for some of those moms. I understand being open and everything, but it just made them look really superficial. Thanks for taking the 'risk' and sharing your thoughts- that's why I enjoy reading your site!

[amy m]

Whew! Jodi--what a great post that I'm glad you covered.
I am totally out of the loop here. As a person who does usually like to hear what Oprah says and believes she does usually have people's--especially women's--best interest in mind, I missed this episode (but did re-cap on the website). I also have no idea who Dooce is but did just check the site. (Will lightening strike me down now that I've typed it?! I guess she'll be at Blogher? Gulp. I'll be totally alone now, I suppose)
Anyway, this is what I think:
-Yes, the show could have been used as a platform for more important, heavier issues--absolutely. But it feels good for people to hear that they're not alone in feeling all the things we sometimes feel as parents--fear, frustration, isolation, anger, etc. I'm betting that there will be a follow-up episode sometime in the future that does deal with issues of that nature, probably because of the response that this episode is getting. I think you made some really important points here that are worthy of some 'air time' and serious discussion.

[Alex Elliot]

Hi Jodi,
I wrote this on Pundit Mom's blog as wel. I think we need to keep in mind that not everyone is a blogger or reads blogs. Many women in the real world don't discuss the difficulties of being a mother. Women in our society are not encouraged to complain. The message women many times get is that we can do it all and the difficult part is left out. Sure, we bloggers know that isn't true and that we are not alone from reading others blogs and hearing their daily stories of struggles they are going through. Not everyone though has experienced that. I just finished a parenting class where I can honestly say that if those women were to watch the show, that would have been surprised that they weren't alone in parenting. I'm in a moms group and sure we talked about the temper tantrums and being tired, but nothing like the honesty in the blogging world. That's more between very close friends and many of us didn't have very close mommy friends when we first became moms. Also, a lot of them still don't understand or read blogs. I suspect if the show were about dads, it would have been more positively viewed. I also don't think they would have been expected to have a solution to the "problems". Was I shocked by anything? No. However, I thought the show served a purpose; just another way of letting moms know that they're not alone. I just think with all the isolation, self-doubt and depression out there you can't say it too many times.

[Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah]

I didn't watch it either. I meant to, I just don't watch Oprah so I forgot all about it.

I was going to try to say something intelligent but my cat just threw up.

True story.

[Holmes]

I've never watched Oprah, never intend to, and didn't see this episode. Just wanted to hop over and say that it's good to meet the other parent out there who doesn't read Dooce :)

[Kate]

I have to agree with your commenter, Cagey. There's a lot of whining and woe-is-me going on in the mommy blogosphere like this is something new. Hello? How about the mothers who lived centuries ago who didn't even have epidurals. I bet they had good bitch sessions!

[Myrna]

I too was dismayed that the other bloggers weren't introduced with the name of their blog. If they were on it because they were bloggers (seems like the case) then they should have received the same "credit" as Dooce. The media seems to be a one-Dooce-note. As for being superficial, yes I found it tiresome after a while. I also find it irritating that, in general, the media connects "mommy bloggers" with moms who gripe about their life-with-children-who-happen-to-be-under-the-age-of-ten. Have you noticed that? I write about life with teens and I try to talk about issues facing parents. Serious issues like HPV vaccines, sexting, cyberbullying. If other moms want to use their blogs to "connect" by complaining - fine, there's room on the internet for everyone. And, indeed some very wonderful, humorous writers can be found amongst them. I'd like to raise the point that I never hear anyone make - why is the subject always about parenting little kids in diapers? Our children grow up. The challenges get more difficult not less. Even the authors of the book were surrounded by small children. It's as if parenting in the media is all about small children. Not much on parenting teenagers, except when they do something bad - like getting caught sexting....

[Rachel]

I watched the show. Full disclosure, I like Oprah and TIVO it every day. I think you're right and this particular episode was silly. IMO they had too many speakers and not enough time with one in particular. I think Oprah was going for funny/quirky and didn't quite make it. But, in her defense on the other issues, she has had many a show trying to break down barriers between moms. She did a show with Naomi Wolf on motherhood. She has done shows on discussing the "realities" of motherhood and why women don't feel free to discuss postpartum, depression, isolation, etc. So, I guess my point is, the show was probably a bust but don't use it as a sole way to judge Oprah's history in exposing motherhood and it's issues.