by Jodifur on April 14, 2009

There are good things about the blogosphere and there are bad things about the blogosphere.  But the good outweighs the bad.  And one of the best things about the blogosphere is how much most of us genuinely care about each other, and band together during a crises.  I have experienced it myself.  And the outpouring of love from the blogosphere can make all the difference.  It did for me.  I would not have survived my diagnosis without this blog.  I know that.

It took me a long time to write this post because I didn't want it to seem like I was jumping on a bandwagon and pretending to be something I'm not.  I was not friends with either of these bloggers.  I did not know them.  I did not read them.  But they are both moms.  They are both human beings. 

It is impossible not to feel immense pain and immense sadness.

First, twitter turned purple for Maddie.  And then we lost Thalon.

There are donations buttons and funds everywhere.  Give if you can.  Or don't.  Do what makes you feel comfortable.  But hug your children tighter today.

Shana and Heather, please know how sorry I am.  How we all are.  No parent should bury a child.  Ever.


Fairly Odd Mother April 14, 2009 at 8:56 am

Sadness says it all. Such profound sadness.
And, I also did not know about your diagnosis a while back—sending you my best wishes.

Robin April 14, 2009 at 9:02 am

Said so well. I too, thought for several days about writing a post about it becuase I don’t personally know either of them. But, we are all Moms, and how can we not feel such a hurt for them right now?
I don’t think of posting about this as getting on the bandwagon. We can never take away the pain of Maddie and Thalon’s families, but we can show support.
The blogsphere is changing ways we can support people, and if this were me, it wouldn’t erase the pain, but I’d like to think would help some.

Angela April 14, 2009 at 10:14 am

You summed it up beautifully for me. I didn’t read either of these bloggers before either, but heard about both losses via twitter in the last week. And it is profoundly sad. I was sitting crying in the kitchen last night at my laptop after reading RNM’s entry about this, and my husband just didn’t understand why I was crying over two families losses when I didn’t even know them.
It just doesn’t make it any less sad. I’m so full of empathy for them. I mean, I can’t help but put myself in their shoes and imagine it happening to me and how I’d feel. It’s just heartbreaking, and I don’t know how I’d go on.
How can I not cry? You know?

Hilary April 14, 2009 at 11:18 am

I couldn’t agree more. It’s just not effing right. Thinking of them both AND Karla at Untangling Knots today. xo

She Likes Purple April 14, 2009 at 11:38 am

I debated posting too since I didn’t know Shana, but my heart broke for them and it felt wrong to keep quiet. I’m glad you posted this, too.

Maura April 14, 2009 at 12:57 pm

So sad.
Burying a child is the worst thing any parent ever has to do. A baby is the hardest to loose. Unfortunately that pain is never diminished no matter what age. The tears in my grandfather’s eyes as we buried my mother still haunt me as I look into Owen’s eyes.

DemMom April 14, 2009 at 1:58 pm

I’ve been going back and forth in my head too, about posting on this. I had never heard of Maddie or Heather before this happened. But I did read GorillaBuns sometimes. What has struck (beyond the unfathomable shock and sadness), is the community. I know, it’s the point of the “blogosphere,” but I was still surprised how SO many people stepped forward with thoughts, prayers, help with servers, etc. Incredible, especially considering many of these people have never met.

daysgoby April 14, 2009 at 3:06 pm

I *just* changed my Twitter avatar to purple a few minutes ago I still haven’t posted about Maddie or Thalon, and I probably won’t. I’m caught in feeling terribly, terribly sorry for both these sets of parents, and thinking that what I was going to say has already been said, and better than I would have.
I donated, but that feels so impersonal – which is strange because while we all write on the SVM network, they probably don’t know who in the world I am, so it IS impersonal….
Hug your kids tighter.

Jill April 14, 2009 at 3:12 pm

So well said! I ran from my desk crying yesterday when I read about Thalon. And I did not know either family.
Its inspiring to see so many people reaching out to these grieving families. It helps renew my faith in people.

BananaBlueberry April 14, 2009 at 3:36 pm


Stimey April 14, 2009 at 5:31 pm

Well put, and just what I feel too.

Sarah @ April 14, 2009 at 6:32 pm

My heart breaks for them both. I hope they know how many people are praying for their families. I pray that they are able to find some solace.

Musings from Me April 15, 2009 at 2:29 am

A parent should never bury a child. Ever. Some do not recover from the loss of a child. My inlaws are shadows of their former selves after loss of my husband’s brother. So sad. My son is named for his uncle — I feel very good about this.

Mrs. Wilson April 15, 2009 at 5:51 am

Incredible sadness. I didn’t know either of the bloggers either, but, imagining losing my own child(ren) was enough for me to be able to empathize with them.
You’re right. No parent should ever have to bury their child.

Previous post:

Next post: