I had two different conversation this weekend about just how hard marriage is. About how marriage is a choice and everyday I choose to love my husband even though some days it is harder than others. And really, why was I in such a rush to get married anyway? Why wasn't I perfectly content to stay young and in love with very few responsibilities? Why do we constantly ask young couples when they are getting married? Because what we should tell them is, wait, slow down, because you know what, marriage is really, really hard work. In a lot of ways it's harder than parenting. You always love your kids. Your spouse, well, that's a whole other story.
Doug and I do this thing every year we where we stay downtown one weekend. My parents always take my sister and her husband and Doug and I to a ridiculously expensive DC restaurant (this year Citronelle) for our holiday present every year. A few years ago Doug and I decided to get a sitter overnight and make a weekend of it. That way we don't have to worry about who drives home after the crazy amount of wine that is consumed at dinner, and we go out for breakfast the next day and walk around the city and remember what it was like before, when we were just us.
This year got a little hairy. Our sitter canceled on us the week before and up until Thursday of last week we were going to dinner but didn't have anyone who could spend the night when the nanny of a friend came through. And then in true irony my sister's sitter canceled so my nephew ended up at my house as well.
All I wanted to do this year was get a cupcake. Specifically a Georgetown Cupcake. They had won best cupcake in The Washington Post and I love cupcakes, long before it became the in thing to love. But it was freezing and snowing and while Doug likes a cupcake, it certainly wouldn't be his first choice to spend a snowy afternoon waiting in line in the freezing cold for a cupcake when we have a babysitter and an expensive luxury hotel room. But he did, and he never once complained. Because he loves me. And he knew just how badly I wanted that stupid cupcake. And, it was a damn good cupcake.
And that's what it is. Waiting in the snow for a cupcake. Celebrating Christmas when you don't want to. Leaving the child behind and walking around Georgetown and Dupont Circle on a cold snowy weekend.
I know people who have never left their kid with a sitter, and who are amazed I would leave mine overnight. And I really try very hard not to judge others parenting decisions as long as those parenting decisions don't end up on my desk. But I will say this. My marriage is better and stronger and more enjoyable for the time that Doug and I spend away from Michael. It's not that we don't love him, it's that we need time to be us, not Mommy and Daddy.
We brought a cupcake home for Michael. He was less than impressed. But, it might be a little bit like when I bring my dog to the vet and I try to give him a treat. He was punishing us for being away.
It was worth every minute.
{ 76 comments… read them below or add one }
So glad you found someone to watch Michael.
Tom and I were talking about budgeting in some date nights, even if it’s only once or twice a month and we get the grandparents to come over so we can go walk around the museum or something.
We seriously haven’t ever had a sitter other than family, and even that is few and way too far between. But instead of being proud of it I’m more than ready to find some “us” time (or heck, some “me” time would be nice too!)
I applaud you two for making it a priority!
So glad you found someone to watch Michael.
Tom and I were talking about budgeting in some date nights, even if it’s only once or twice a month and we get the grandparents to come over so we can go walk around the museum or something.
We seriously haven’t ever had a sitter other than family, and even that is few and way too far between. But instead of being proud of it I’m more than ready to find some “us” time (or heck, some “me” time would be nice too!)
I applaud you two for making it a priority!
So glad you found someone to watch Michael.
Tom and I were talking about budgeting in some date nights, even if it’s only once or twice a month and we get the grandparents to come over so we can go walk around the museum or something.
We seriously haven’t ever had a sitter other than family, and even that is few and way too far between. But instead of being proud of it I’m more than ready to find some “us” time (or heck, some “me” time would be nice too!)
I applaud you two for making it a priority!
So glad you found someone to watch Michael.
Tom and I were talking about budgeting in some date nights, even if it’s only once or twice a month and we get the grandparents to come over so we can go walk around the museum or something.
We seriously haven’t ever had a sitter other than family, and even that is few and way too far between. But instead of being proud of it I’m more than ready to find some “us” time (or heck, some “me” time would be nice too!)
I applaud you two for making it a priority!
we are so fortunate to have my MIL be our main babysitter but if we didn’t we would have found a sitter we trusted! The mommy/daddy alone time is very important!
we are so fortunate to have my MIL be our main babysitter but if we didn’t we would have found a sitter we trusted! The mommy/daddy alone time is very important!
we are so fortunate to have my MIL be our main babysitter but if we didn’t we would have found a sitter we trusted! The mommy/daddy alone time is very important!
we are so fortunate to have my MIL be our main babysitter but if we didn’t we would have found a sitter we trusted! The mommy/daddy alone time is very important!
I’m a big believer in this. If you don’t nourish your relationship, there is no mom and dad. There just isn’t.
Well done!
I’m a big believer in this. If you don’t nourish your relationship, there is no mom and dad. There just isn’t.
Well done!
I’m a big believer in this. If you don’t nourish your relationship, there is no mom and dad. There just isn’t.
Well done!
I’m a big believer in this. If you don’t nourish your relationship, there is no mom and dad. There just isn’t.
Well done!
Good for you! Thanks for inspiring me to find time with my hubby. Even if it’s just out to a local restaurant for happy hour; we have a neighbor who will sit for us. Nice post. And I love DC!
Good for you! Thanks for inspiring me to find time with my hubby. Even if it’s just out to a local restaurant for happy hour; we have a neighbor who will sit for us. Nice post. And I love DC!
Good for you! Thanks for inspiring me to find time with my hubby. Even if it’s just out to a local restaurant for happy hour; we have a neighbor who will sit for us. Nice post. And I love DC!
Good for you! Thanks for inspiring me to find time with my hubby. Even if it’s just out to a local restaurant for happy hour; we have a neighbor who will sit for us. Nice post. And I love DC!
shit Jodi, I leave Brandon with my parents nearly once every weekend (they like having him as much as I he likes being there) however since having Codi this has totally defeated our alone time since Codi won’t eat he can’t go there yet. Sigh. Someday though!!!!!!
shit Jodi, I leave Brandon with my parents nearly once every weekend (they like having him as much as I he likes being there) however since having Codi this has totally defeated our alone time since Codi won’t eat he can’t go there yet. Sigh. Someday though!!!!!!
shit Jodi, I leave Brandon with my parents nearly once every weekend (they like having him as much as I he likes being there) however since having Codi this has totally defeated our alone time since Codi won’t eat he can’t go there yet. Sigh. Someday though!!!!!!
shit Jodi, I leave Brandon with my parents nearly once every weekend (they like having him as much as I he likes being there) however since having Codi this has totally defeated our alone time since Codi won’t eat he can’t go there yet. Sigh. Someday though!!!!!!
I always say the key to a happy marriage is simple, not easy.
I too have loved cupcakes before they were the “in” thing to love. I now want one.
I’m so glad you had a nice weekend with Doug. He really does sound like such a great man.
I always say the key to a happy marriage is simple, not easy.
I too have loved cupcakes before they were the “in” thing to love. I now want one.
I’m so glad you had a nice weekend with Doug. He really does sound like such a great man.
I always say the key to a happy marriage is simple, not easy.
I too have loved cupcakes before they were the “in” thing to love. I now want one.
I’m so glad you had a nice weekend with Doug. He really does sound like such a great man.
I always say the key to a happy marriage is simple, not easy.
I too have loved cupcakes before they were the “in” thing to love. I now want one.
I’m so glad you had a nice weekend with Doug. He really does sound like such a great man.
Oh, Jodi, this, THIS, is now my favorite thing you’ve written. You are so right. It is important, it is hard, and it is so worth it. Glad you and Doug got your Alone Time together.
Oh, Jodi, this, THIS, is now my favorite thing you’ve written. You are so right. It is important, it is hard, and it is so worth it. Glad you and Doug got your Alone Time together.
Oh, Jodi, this, THIS, is now my favorite thing you’ve written. You are so right. It is important, it is hard, and it is so worth it. Glad you and Doug got your Alone Time together.
Oh, Jodi, this, THIS, is now my favorite thing you’ve written. You are so right. It is important, it is hard, and it is so worth it. Glad you and Doug got your Alone Time together.
I saw the Georgetown Cupcake girls on Martha! Lucky girl, cupcakes and a nice weekend with your hubby!
Even when you don’t have kids, relationships take work and nurturing. I’ve been trying to plan one “date” a week where we do something we haven’t done before. New restaurants, art shows, bowling, horse shows…these “firsts” have helped us appreciate how much we really “like” each other and enjoy hanging out together.
I saw the Georgetown Cupcake girls on Martha! Lucky girl, cupcakes and a nice weekend with your hubby!
Even when you don’t have kids, relationships take work and nurturing. I’ve been trying to plan one “date” a week where we do something we haven’t done before. New restaurants, art shows, bowling, horse shows…these “firsts” have helped us appreciate how much we really “like” each other and enjoy hanging out together.
I saw the Georgetown Cupcake girls on Martha! Lucky girl, cupcakes and a nice weekend with your hubby!
Even when you don’t have kids, relationships take work and nurturing. I’ve been trying to plan one “date” a week where we do something we haven’t done before. New restaurants, art shows, bowling, horse shows…these “firsts” have helped us appreciate how much we really “like” each other and enjoy hanging out together.
I saw the Georgetown Cupcake girls on Martha! Lucky girl, cupcakes and a nice weekend with your hubby!
Even when you don’t have kids, relationships take work and nurturing. I’ve been trying to plan one “date” a week where we do something we haven’t done before. New restaurants, art shows, bowling, horse shows…these “firsts” have helped us appreciate how much we really “like” each other and enjoy hanging out together.
Who are these people who don’t leave their kids overnight? I’ve never met such parents. I know this because I babysit kids overnight.
Good for you! Glad you had a good time! You guys know what you need to make it work and to stay happy, so you do what you gotta do! Everyone needs a little vacation now and then!
Who are these people who don’t leave their kids overnight? I’ve never met such parents. I know this because I babysit kids overnight.
Good for you! Glad you had a good time! You guys know what you need to make it work and to stay happy, so you do what you gotta do! Everyone needs a little vacation now and then!
Who are these people who don’t leave their kids overnight? I’ve never met such parents. I know this because I babysit kids overnight.
Good for you! Glad you had a good time! You guys know what you need to make it work and to stay happy, so you do what you gotta do! Everyone needs a little vacation now and then!
Who are these people who don’t leave their kids overnight? I’ve never met such parents. I know this because I babysit kids overnight.
Good for you! Glad you had a good time! You guys know what you need to make it work and to stay happy, so you do what you gotta do! Everyone needs a little vacation now and then!
We are like that with babysitters; fortunately Melissa’s mom and my parents are in the area. I certainly don’t judge you for it. It’s probably good for him. Saturday, Melissa and I tried to get a workout in at Fitness First and we left Josh in their childcare center. He lasted about 10 minutes before they had to come up for one of us because he was inconsolable.
We are like that with babysitters; fortunately Melissa’s mom and my parents are in the area. I certainly don’t judge you for it. It’s probably good for him. Saturday, Melissa and I tried to get a workout in at Fitness First and we left Josh in their childcare center. He lasted about 10 minutes before they had to come up for one of us because he was inconsolable.
We are like that with babysitters; fortunately Melissa’s mom and my parents are in the area. I certainly don’t judge you for it. It’s probably good for him. Saturday, Melissa and I tried to get a workout in at Fitness First and we left Josh in their childcare center. He lasted about 10 minutes before they had to come up for one of us because he was inconsolable.
We are like that with babysitters; fortunately Melissa’s mom and my parents are in the area. I certainly don’t judge you for it. It’s probably good for him. Saturday, Melissa and I tried to get a workout in at Fitness First and we left Josh in their childcare center. He lasted about 10 minutes before they had to come up for one of us because he was inconsolable.
Well said. I totally agree.
Well said. I totally agree.
Well said. I totally agree.
Well said. I totally agree.
I work in Georgetown and have taste-tested all the local cupcake places. Baked & Wired (on Thomas Jefferson St) is far superior to Georgetown Cupcake. Delicious!
I work in Georgetown and have taste-tested all the local cupcake places. Baked & Wired (on Thomas Jefferson St) is far superior to Georgetown Cupcake. Delicious!
I work in Georgetown and have taste-tested all the local cupcake places. Baked & Wired (on Thomas Jefferson St) is far superior to Georgetown Cupcake. Delicious!
I work in Georgetown and have taste-tested all the local cupcake places. Baked & Wired (on Thomas Jefferson St) is far superior to Georgetown Cupcake. Delicious!
Yes, marriage is really really hard. The hardest thing I’ve done.
I am so very glad you guys got away for a weekend. How fun! And so sweet of him to get the cupcake. MMMMM! It’s never too cold for a cupcake!
Yes, marriage is really really hard. The hardest thing I’ve done.
I am so very glad you guys got away for a weekend. How fun! And so sweet of him to get the cupcake. MMMMM! It’s never too cold for a cupcake!
Yes, marriage is really really hard. The hardest thing I’ve done.
I am so very glad you guys got away for a weekend. How fun! And so sweet of him to get the cupcake. MMMMM! It’s never too cold for a cupcake!
Yes, marriage is really really hard. The hardest thing I’ve done.
I am so very glad you guys got away for a weekend. How fun! And so sweet of him to get the cupcake. MMMMM! It’s never too cold for a cupcake!
Jodi,
So happy you two had a wonderful night out and I absolutely believe that nurturing your marriage is a gift to your child.
Good for you!
xo
Jodi,
So happy you two had a wonderful night out and I absolutely believe that nurturing your marriage is a gift to your child.
Good for you!
xo
Jodi,
So happy you two had a wonderful night out and I absolutely believe that nurturing your marriage is a gift to your child.
Good for you!
xo
Jodi,
So happy you two had a wonderful night out and I absolutely believe that nurturing your marriage is a gift to your child.
Good for you!
xo
I don’t think some people realize how important it is to get a sitter and get out.
In fact, I am reading this so late because my Husaband and I took the day off and dropped the kids off at child care so we could spend the day together, so no judgement there!
I don’t think some people realize how important it is to get a sitter and get out.
In fact, I am reading this so late because my Husaband and I took the day off and dropped the kids off at child care so we could spend the day together, so no judgement there!
I don’t think some people realize how important it is to get a sitter and get out.
In fact, I am reading this so late because my Husaband and I took the day off and dropped the kids off at child care so we could spend the day together, so no judgement there!
I don’t think some people realize how important it is to get a sitter and get out.
In fact, I am reading this so late because my Husaband and I took the day off and dropped the kids off at child care so we could spend the day together, so no judgement there!
I need to do this more. My husband and I are both guilty — we let ourselves get too busy.
I love cupcakes too! Do you eat yours right from the paper, or with a fork?
I need to do this more. My husband and I are both guilty — we let ourselves get too busy.
I love cupcakes too! Do you eat yours right from the paper, or with a fork?
I need to do this more. My husband and I are both guilty — we let ourselves get too busy.
I love cupcakes too! Do you eat yours right from the paper, or with a fork?
I need to do this more. My husband and I are both guilty — we let ourselves get too busy.
I love cupcakes too! Do you eat yours right from the paper, or with a fork?
An overnight date in DC is what my husband and I gift each other every Xmas. It recharges our batteries. And I’ll look at WWI aviation docs with him and make him twice baked potatoes and he’ll watch Grey’s with me and eat sushi and we tell each other these little sacrifices and once a year splurges are sexier than pawing in the coat closet at an Adams Morgan club. Cue Kate Bush singing This Woman’s Work or some other Lilith Fair muzak please…
An overnight date in DC is what my husband and I gift each other every Xmas. It recharges our batteries. And I’ll look at WWI aviation docs with him and make him twice baked potatoes and he’ll watch Grey’s with me and eat sushi and we tell each other these little sacrifices and once a year splurges are sexier than pawing in the coat closet at an Adams Morgan club. Cue Kate Bush singing This Woman’s Work or some other Lilith Fair muzak please…
An overnight date in DC is what my husband and I gift each other every Xmas. It recharges our batteries. And I’ll look at WWI aviation docs with him and make him twice baked potatoes and he’ll watch Grey’s with me and eat sushi and we tell each other these little sacrifices and once a year splurges are sexier than pawing in the coat closet at an Adams Morgan club. Cue Kate Bush singing This Woman’s Work or some other Lilith Fair muzak please…
An overnight date in DC is what my husband and I gift each other every Xmas. It recharges our batteries. And I’ll look at WWI aviation docs with him and make him twice baked potatoes and he’ll watch Grey’s with me and eat sushi and we tell each other these little sacrifices and once a year splurges are sexier than pawing in the coat closet at an Adams Morgan club. Cue Kate Bush singing This Woman’s Work or some other Lilith Fair muzak please…
That sounds wonderful.
We haven’t had the opportunity to leave the kids overnight yet, though I agree whole heartedly that it would be such a fabulous thing to do.
It really is important to step away whenever possible, as much to just finish a sentence in one anothers presence.
That sounds wonderful.
We haven’t had the opportunity to leave the kids overnight yet, though I agree whole heartedly that it would be such a fabulous thing to do.
It really is important to step away whenever possible, as much to just finish a sentence in one anothers presence.
That sounds wonderful.
We haven’t had the opportunity to leave the kids overnight yet, though I agree whole heartedly that it would be such a fabulous thing to do.
It really is important to step away whenever possible, as much to just finish a sentence in one anothers presence.
That sounds wonderful.
We haven’t had the opportunity to leave the kids overnight yet, though I agree whole heartedly that it would be such a fabulous thing to do.
It really is important to step away whenever possible, as much to just finish a sentence in one anothers presence.
I just want to know all about Citronelle.
I just want to know all about Citronelle.
I just want to know all about Citronelle.
I just want to know all about Citronelle.