You know when you feel something in your heart of hearts, when you think something is wrong, but you just can't admit it to yourself, you are normally right.
I think something is wrong with Michael.
There is just something off. He hates organized activities. And by hate, I mean violently, violently hates. It started at 18 months when we enrolled him in a funfit class and has continued through music class, swimming, and soccer. He does not want to participate. He does not want to follow directions. He screams, he carries on, he makes himself such a distraction I remove him from the situation and go home, which is bad because that's what he wants in the first place.
It's odd, because he is generally a good kid. He listens at home (mostly), he gets star reports from babysitters and grandparents, and at daycare. It is just organized, class like settings. Who knows what is going to happen when he starts pre school next year.
Doug says I'm always trying to diagnose him with something because of my job. That he is just 3. But this is just not being 3. This started long before he was 3, and has gotten so much worse with time.
I have run through a bunch of diagnoses in my head. Is he anti-social? No, he loves play group, and generally gets along with other kids. Is he oppositional defiant? No, then he wouldn't be ok at home and with others. ADD? No, he has a pretty good attention span for a 3 year old.
Is there a diagnosis for hating organized activities?
Is it that we live in a world of diagnosing and medicating children? That I'm looking too hard to find something wrong because somehow I don't believe that it's possible that I, jodifur, who tends to have bad luck, managed to get lucky this time? Managed to get a non-autistic, non-handicapped, "normally developing," healthy kid (knocking on so much wood right now.) Maybe I'm just over analyzing, us lawyers are taught to do that.
I tend not to be a neurotic mom. (Shut out, stop laughing, it's actually true.) I don't freak out over every bump and bruise and fever and tantrum. But I feel like something is wrong, something is off. Am I doing something wrong? Am I reacting to the tantrums and that's why he does this? Is it about upsetting me or is there something more organic there? Should I bring it up to the pediatrician? Will they laugh at me and tell me to leave their office?
But what if I am right? In my gut, I feel like there is something to this behavior. And I've always been a strong believer in mommy intuition.
{ 52 comments… read them below or add one }
Don’t underestimate your gut. If you feel something is off, tell your dr. and let them tell you that you’re wrong.
Do they do any classlike stuff at daycare? Any organized games or activities? Does Michael participate?
I really understand your post. I really and truly get it.
Don’t underestimate your gut. If you feel something is off, tell your dr. and let them tell you that you’re wrong.
Do they do any classlike stuff at daycare? Any organized games or activities? Does Michael participate?
I really understand your post. I really and truly get it.
Don’t underestimate your gut. If you feel something is off, tell your dr. and let them tell you that you’re wrong.
Do they do any classlike stuff at daycare? Any organized games or activities? Does Michael participate?
I really understand your post. I really and truly get it.
Don’t underestimate your gut. If you feel something is off, tell your dr. and let them tell you that you’re wrong.
Do they do any classlike stuff at daycare? Any organized games or activities? Does Michael participate?
I really understand your post. I really and truly get it.
I hate organized activities. Can’t hurt to talk to the pediatrician though – if it will make you feel better, I will tell what I am going to grill the pediatrician about at Mia’s 3 year visit – talk about silly.
I hate organized activities. Can’t hurt to talk to the pediatrician though – if it will make you feel better, I will tell what I am going to grill the pediatrician about at Mia’s 3 year visit – talk about silly.
I hate organized activities. Can’t hurt to talk to the pediatrician though – if it will make you feel better, I will tell what I am going to grill the pediatrician about at Mia’s 3 year visit – talk about silly.
I hate organized activities. Can’t hurt to talk to the pediatrician though – if it will make you feel better, I will tell what I am going to grill the pediatrician about at Mia’s 3 year visit – talk about silly.
My 2 yr 9 month old nephew hates big events too. He HATES them with a passion. ALWAYS has. He has friends, loves people, isn’t problematic, can play on his own for hours, can also talk for hours, and just absolutely hates long organized activities.
You could be right – I would check it out, but just so you know, there are more of those out there.
My 2 yr 9 month old nephew hates big events too. He HATES them with a passion. ALWAYS has. He has friends, loves people, isn’t problematic, can play on his own for hours, can also talk for hours, and just absolutely hates long organized activities.
You could be right – I would check it out, but just so you know, there are more of those out there.
My 2 yr 9 month old nephew hates big events too. He HATES them with a passion. ALWAYS has. He has friends, loves people, isn’t problematic, can play on his own for hours, can also talk for hours, and just absolutely hates long organized activities.
You could be right – I would check it out, but just so you know, there are more of those out there.
My 2 yr 9 month old nephew hates big events too. He HATES them with a passion. ALWAYS has. He has friends, loves people, isn’t problematic, can play on his own for hours, can also talk for hours, and just absolutely hates long organized activities.
You could be right – I would check it out, but just so you know, there are more of those out there.
Don’t underestimate your gut. If you think there is something “off” then I would definitely ask about it.
That said, my daughter sounds like Michael. Her clear hatred of any type of organized activity is clear to me and her father and so many others. She hates, hates, hates all of the classes she’s done – Gymboree, Swimming, The Little Gym, and music class. She refuses to participate, will not follow directions, and generally screams and carries on so much that she distracts everyone and we have to leave. Yet, she isn’t like this anywhere else – not home, or daycare, or playgroups, or with anyone who watches. My general attitude had been – what the heck? So she’s already bucking the establishment; she’ll grow out of it. But now after reading your post, I am worried a bit.
Don’t underestimate your gut. If you think there is something “off” then I would definitely ask about it.
That said, my daughter sounds like Michael. Her clear hatred of any type of organized activity is clear to me and her father and so many others. She hates, hates, hates all of the classes she’s done – Gymboree, Swimming, The Little Gym, and music class. She refuses to participate, will not follow directions, and generally screams and carries on so much that she distracts everyone and we have to leave. Yet, she isn’t like this anywhere else – not home, or daycare, or playgroups, or with anyone who watches. My general attitude had been – what the heck? So she’s already bucking the establishment; she’ll grow out of it. But now after reading your post, I am worried a bit.
Don’t underestimate your gut. If you think there is something “off” then I would definitely ask about it.
That said, my daughter sounds like Michael. Her clear hatred of any type of organized activity is clear to me and her father and so many others. She hates, hates, hates all of the classes she’s done – Gymboree, Swimming, The Little Gym, and music class. She refuses to participate, will not follow directions, and generally screams and carries on so much that she distracts everyone and we have to leave. Yet, she isn’t like this anywhere else – not home, or daycare, or playgroups, or with anyone who watches. My general attitude had been – what the heck? So she’s already bucking the establishment; she’ll grow out of it. But now after reading your post, I am worried a bit.
Don’t underestimate your gut. If you think there is something “off” then I would definitely ask about it.
That said, my daughter sounds like Michael. Her clear hatred of any type of organized activity is clear to me and her father and so many others. She hates, hates, hates all of the classes she’s done – Gymboree, Swimming, The Little Gym, and music class. She refuses to participate, will not follow directions, and generally screams and carries on so much that she distracts everyone and we have to leave. Yet, she isn’t like this anywhere else – not home, or daycare, or playgroups, or with anyone who watches. My general attitude had been – what the heck? So she’s already bucking the establishment; she’ll grow out of it. But now after reading your post, I am worried a bit.
We have a similar issue with d-boy. Have not really had classes for d-girl yet. T-ball was a freaking nightmare, and we didn’t even go to the final games. This year it was soccer, and I thought it was finally improving–until the day that they played the game. He did really well the days that they ran drills and there was a lot of individual activity. As soon as other kids started running in all directions and taking the ball from him? Commence major freak out. Didn’t go to that last game either. So far I am of the theory that it will come with time. It may not though, and I think that is ok too.
I never liked team sports except for track and tennis (where really you are by yourself). I never liked ballet or tap or any of those activities. Basically, I never liked anyone telling me what to do. All that being said, I agree with everyone to go with your gut and run it by your pediatrician.
We have a similar issue with d-boy. Have not really had classes for d-girl yet. T-ball was a freaking nightmare, and we didn’t even go to the final games. This year it was soccer, and I thought it was finally improving–until the day that they played the game. He did really well the days that they ran drills and there was a lot of individual activity. As soon as other kids started running in all directions and taking the ball from him? Commence major freak out. Didn’t go to that last game either. So far I am of the theory that it will come with time. It may not though, and I think that is ok too.
I never liked team sports except for track and tennis (where really you are by yourself). I never liked ballet or tap or any of those activities. Basically, I never liked anyone telling me what to do. All that being said, I agree with everyone to go with your gut and run it by your pediatrician.
We have a similar issue with d-boy. Have not really had classes for d-girl yet. T-ball was a freaking nightmare, and we didn’t even go to the final games. This year it was soccer, and I thought it was finally improving–until the day that they played the game. He did really well the days that they ran drills and there was a lot of individual activity. As soon as other kids started running in all directions and taking the ball from him? Commence major freak out. Didn’t go to that last game either. So far I am of the theory that it will come with time. It may not though, and I think that is ok too.
I never liked team sports except for track and tennis (where really you are by yourself). I never liked ballet or tap or any of those activities. Basically, I never liked anyone telling me what to do. All that being said, I agree with everyone to go with your gut and run it by your pediatrician.
We have a similar issue with d-boy. Have not really had classes for d-girl yet. T-ball was a freaking nightmare, and we didn’t even go to the final games. This year it was soccer, and I thought it was finally improving–until the day that they played the game. He did really well the days that they ran drills and there was a lot of individual activity. As soon as other kids started running in all directions and taking the ball from him? Commence major freak out. Didn’t go to that last game either. So far I am of the theory that it will come with time. It may not though, and I think that is ok too.
I never liked team sports except for track and tennis (where really you are by yourself). I never liked ballet or tap or any of those activities. Basically, I never liked anyone telling me what to do. All that being said, I agree with everyone to go with your gut and run it by your pediatrician.
definitely ask your pediatrician. you gut is obviously speaking pretty loudly and it might sound trite, but moms just KNOW. and if your pediatrician laughs you off and doesn’t have the decency to at least check things out, get a second opinion. it’s YOUR job to know your kid, not the doctor’s, so if you think that there is something wrong, then the doc better damn well listen to you.
definitely ask your pediatrician. you gut is obviously speaking pretty loudly and it might sound trite, but moms just KNOW. and if your pediatrician laughs you off and doesn’t have the decency to at least check things out, get a second opinion. it’s YOUR job to know your kid, not the doctor’s, so if you think that there is something wrong, then the doc better damn well listen to you.
definitely ask your pediatrician. you gut is obviously speaking pretty loudly and it might sound trite, but moms just KNOW. and if your pediatrician laughs you off and doesn’t have the decency to at least check things out, get a second opinion. it’s YOUR job to know your kid, not the doctor’s, so if you think that there is something wrong, then the doc better damn well listen to you.
definitely ask your pediatrician. you gut is obviously speaking pretty loudly and it might sound trite, but moms just KNOW. and if your pediatrician laughs you off and doesn’t have the decency to at least check things out, get a second opinion. it’s YOUR job to know your kid, not the doctor’s, so if you think that there is something wrong, then the doc better damn well listen to you.
Does he do an organized sport with either you or Doug or with you guys on the sidelines watching (and talking with other parents)?
If he’s ok in his daycare and she does some organized stuff, and he’s ok in playgroups and with family, maybe he would just rather not be in organized sports led by a teacher when he could rather be with Mom and Dad?
Does he do an organized sport with either you or Doug or with you guys on the sidelines watching (and talking with other parents)?
If he’s ok in his daycare and she does some organized stuff, and he’s ok in playgroups and with family, maybe he would just rather not be in organized sports led by a teacher when he could rather be with Mom and Dad?
Does he do an organized sport with either you or Doug or with you guys on the sidelines watching (and talking with other parents)?
If he’s ok in his daycare and she does some organized stuff, and he’s ok in playgroups and with family, maybe he would just rather not be in organized sports led by a teacher when he could rather be with Mom and Dad?
Does he do an organized sport with either you or Doug or with you guys on the sidelines watching (and talking with other parents)?
If he’s ok in his daycare and she does some organized stuff, and he’s ok in playgroups and with family, maybe he would just rather not be in organized sports led by a teacher when he could rather be with Mom and Dad?
I was going to say something similar to Robin’s comment. When Michael is in the organized activities (music, swimming, soccer, whatever) are you there watching (or participating in a parent/child type class)? I can tell you that Zoe behaves much better in her classes when I leave. For our parent/child gym class she rarely stays at the circle time… mostly trying to skip it and just starts climbing and tumbling. No matter what I do to try to get her to join in it’s usually a fight. For her dance class I leave the room and she pays perfect attention and participates. If I stay to watch dance she constantly leaves the group to run back and forth to where I’m sitting. Could he have that type of issue?
Whatever is going on… it never hurts to talk to the pediatrician about it. He is your child… and you know him best.
I was going to say something similar to Robin’s comment. When Michael is in the organized activities (music, swimming, soccer, whatever) are you there watching (or participating in a parent/child type class)? I can tell you that Zoe behaves much better in her classes when I leave. For our parent/child gym class she rarely stays at the circle time… mostly trying to skip it and just starts climbing and tumbling. No matter what I do to try to get her to join in it’s usually a fight. For her dance class I leave the room and she pays perfect attention and participates. If I stay to watch dance she constantly leaves the group to run back and forth to where I’m sitting. Could he have that type of issue?
Whatever is going on… it never hurts to talk to the pediatrician about it. He is your child… and you know him best.
I was going to say something similar to Robin’s comment. When Michael is in the organized activities (music, swimming, soccer, whatever) are you there watching (or participating in a parent/child type class)? I can tell you that Zoe behaves much better in her classes when I leave. For our parent/child gym class she rarely stays at the circle time… mostly trying to skip it and just starts climbing and tumbling. No matter what I do to try to get her to join in it’s usually a fight. For her dance class I leave the room and she pays perfect attention and participates. If I stay to watch dance she constantly leaves the group to run back and forth to where I’m sitting. Could he have that type of issue?
Whatever is going on… it never hurts to talk to the pediatrician about it. He is your child… and you know him best.
I was going to say something similar to Robin’s comment. When Michael is in the organized activities (music, swimming, soccer, whatever) are you there watching (or participating in a parent/child type class)? I can tell you that Zoe behaves much better in her classes when I leave. For our parent/child gym class she rarely stays at the circle time… mostly trying to skip it and just starts climbing and tumbling. No matter what I do to try to get her to join in it’s usually a fight. For her dance class I leave the room and she pays perfect attention and participates. If I stay to watch dance she constantly leaves the group to run back and forth to where I’m sitting. Could he have that type of issue?
Whatever is going on… it never hurts to talk to the pediatrician about it. He is your child… and you know him best.
You know him better than anyone else. So if you feel like something is wrong, take him in. There is nothing wrong with being overly cautious. You want the very best for him and you need to feel like you’ve done everything right. And there is nothing wrong with that. Go with your gut.
You know him better than anyone else. So if you feel like something is wrong, take him in. There is nothing wrong with being overly cautious. You want the very best for him and you need to feel like you’ve done everything right. And there is nothing wrong with that. Go with your gut.
You know him better than anyone else. So if you feel like something is wrong, take him in. There is nothing wrong with being overly cautious. You want the very best for him and you need to feel like you’ve done everything right. And there is nothing wrong with that. Go with your gut.
You know him better than anyone else. So if you feel like something is wrong, take him in. There is nothing wrong with being overly cautious. You want the very best for him and you need to feel like you’ve done everything right. And there is nothing wrong with that. Go with your gut.
I have to echo the others. How does he do in organized activities in daycare? My older one was a disaster in parent/child swim lessons but does quite well now that he’s old enough to do swim lessons by himself while I watch from the viewing area. What does your daycare provider say? What about your pediatrician? I know that I thought OS was really shy etc., but his preschool teacher was very surprised that I thought that because it’s not true in preschool.
I have to echo the others. How does he do in organized activities in daycare? My older one was a disaster in parent/child swim lessons but does quite well now that he’s old enough to do swim lessons by himself while I watch from the viewing area. What does your daycare provider say? What about your pediatrician? I know that I thought OS was really shy etc., but his preschool teacher was very surprised that I thought that because it’s not true in preschool.
I have to echo the others. How does he do in organized activities in daycare? My older one was a disaster in parent/child swim lessons but does quite well now that he’s old enough to do swim lessons by himself while I watch from the viewing area. What does your daycare provider say? What about your pediatrician? I know that I thought OS was really shy etc., but his preschool teacher was very surprised that I thought that because it’s not true in preschool.
I have to echo the others. How does he do in organized activities in daycare? My older one was a disaster in parent/child swim lessons but does quite well now that he’s old enough to do swim lessons by himself while I watch from the viewing area. What does your daycare provider say? What about your pediatrician? I know that I thought OS was really shy etc., but his preschool teacher was very surprised that I thought that because it’s not true in preschool.
It’s probably nothing. I think most three-year-olds are certifiable. But if you have a gut feeling, check it out. Ask your doctor. And ChildFind is totally free. If your fears are unfounded, all you lost are a few hours.
It’s probably nothing. I think most three-year-olds are certifiable. But if you have a gut feeling, check it out. Ask your doctor. And ChildFind is totally free. If your fears are unfounded, all you lost are a few hours.
It’s probably nothing. I think most three-year-olds are certifiable. But if you have a gut feeling, check it out. Ask your doctor. And ChildFind is totally free. If your fears are unfounded, all you lost are a few hours.
It’s probably nothing. I think most three-year-olds are certifiable. But if you have a gut feeling, check it out. Ask your doctor. And ChildFind is totally free. If your fears are unfounded, all you lost are a few hours.
Aw. I definitely believe in gut feelings and intuition. Maybe it’s something, and maybe it’s nothing. (Hey! Smartest thing I’ve said all day!) If you mentioned it to your doctor, maybe you’d find other kids are like this too, as some of the commenters have indicated.
I can’t say Fly reacts in the same way as Michael, but he hasn’t ever been one of the babies going with the flow during any of those baby classes. I started taking him at five months, so you’d think he’d be used to them. But every time I try out a gym class or something, he is off wandering around the room while the other children are playing in the circle and singing or whatever.
In any case, you’re right — it is a blessing to have a healthy child who is developing normally!
Aw. I definitely believe in gut feelings and intuition. Maybe it’s something, and maybe it’s nothing. (Hey! Smartest thing I’ve said all day!) If you mentioned it to your doctor, maybe you’d find other kids are like this too, as some of the commenters have indicated.
I can’t say Fly reacts in the same way as Michael, but he hasn’t ever been one of the babies going with the flow during any of those baby classes. I started taking him at five months, so you’d think he’d be used to them. But every time I try out a gym class or something, he is off wandering around the room while the other children are playing in the circle and singing or whatever.
In any case, you’re right — it is a blessing to have a healthy child who is developing normally!
Aw. I definitely believe in gut feelings and intuition. Maybe it’s something, and maybe it’s nothing. (Hey! Smartest thing I’ve said all day!) If you mentioned it to your doctor, maybe you’d find other kids are like this too, as some of the commenters have indicated.
I can’t say Fly reacts in the same way as Michael, but he hasn’t ever been one of the babies going with the flow during any of those baby classes. I started taking him at five months, so you’d think he’d be used to them. But every time I try out a gym class or something, he is off wandering around the room while the other children are playing in the circle and singing or whatever.
In any case, you’re right — it is a blessing to have a healthy child who is developing normally!
Aw. I definitely believe in gut feelings and intuition. Maybe it’s something, and maybe it’s nothing. (Hey! Smartest thing I’ve said all day!) If you mentioned it to your doctor, maybe you’d find other kids are like this too, as some of the commenters have indicated.
I can’t say Fly reacts in the same way as Michael, but he hasn’t ever been one of the babies going with the flow during any of those baby classes. I started taking him at five months, so you’d think he’d be used to them. But every time I try out a gym class or something, he is off wandering around the room while the other children are playing in the circle and singing or whatever.
In any case, you’re right — it is a blessing to have a healthy child who is developing normally!
It could be SOMETHING, but maybe not something major. Like maybe he just is a little sensitive to the noise/unfamiliar people/etc.
But as Stimey suggested, and you know, a Child Find eval is free…
It could be SOMETHING, but maybe not something major. Like maybe he just is a little sensitive to the noise/unfamiliar people/etc.
But as Stimey suggested, and you know, a Child Find eval is free…
It could be SOMETHING, but maybe not something major. Like maybe he just is a little sensitive to the noise/unfamiliar people/etc.
But as Stimey suggested, and you know, a Child Find eval is free…
It could be SOMETHING, but maybe not something major. Like maybe he just is a little sensitive to the noise/unfamiliar people/etc.
But as Stimey suggested, and you know, a Child Find eval is free…