Actual Conversations In My House

"Mommy, what time is it?"
"5 o'clock."
"Why?"
"The big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5," pointing the the clock. "That's how you tell time."
Doug walks into the room. "Daddy, the big hand is on the 5 and the little hand is on the 7," pointing to the clock. "It's 5 o'clock. Mommy said so."
Doug to me, "how the hell do you tell time?"
"Mommy, where's Michael?" Michael is looking at a picture from our wedding hanging in the hallway. It's one of those posed ones of the wedding party.
"You weren't born yet."
"But there's Mommy and Daddy and Daddy's princesses and circus people." I think he is talking about the bridesmaids and groomsmen. And oh, is he right about those groomsmen.