Doug was off for Presidents Day so we decided to take Michael to the Museum of Natural History. He is obsessed with dinosaurs and it was beautiful out and we had a perfectly lovely day. Morning at the museum and lunch at Teaism and no temper tantrums all day. Michael insisted on walking though the museum and I ended up pushing an empty stroller (with a million other parents). But he held hands, did not run, and did not touch the exhibits and in general, was a perfect little museum goer.
Except, we got back to the car and realized that somewhere along the way he dropped his favorite Spider Man action figure. The one my mom bought him when he was in the hospital. It has been his constant companion for two weeks. He insisted on bringing it even though I told him not to because I didn't want him to lose it. I have no idea where he dropped it and there was no way to re-trace all our steps that day. Somewhere, in downtown DC is a lost Spider Man. All I can think of is the line from Toy Story when Woody cries, "I'm a lost toy."
Michael was pretty calm about it. A little upset and then looked at me and said, "that's okay Mommy. You can get me another one." And yes, I can. But what message does that send? It won't break the budget to replace his toy. But, I'm very cognizant of the fact that I'm raising an only child, and I refuse to raise a spoiled rotten only child. He needs to learn that if he takes toys out of the house he has to be responsible for them. Actually, he needs to be responsible for toys in the house since he is constantly losing toys in the house and expecting me to find them. Is replacing the toy really what I want him to learn from this?
But, he isn't even 3 yet. Is it unreasonable for him to understand that a lost toy is lost forever? That Mommy and Daddy won't fix every problem with money? And in all honesty, if I don't replace it my mom probably will anyway.
Cross-posted on DC Metro Moms.
The Conundrum of a Lost Toy
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{ 36 comments… read them below or add one }
Well, if it were me and I told my daughter not to bring the toy in but she had anyway…I wouldn’t replace it. But I know I tend to be pretty strict with her.
But the fact that your mom will probably buy it again for him anyway is something I can totally relate to. I still haven’t figured out what to do about that kind of thing. No matter how many times we try to limit the number of toys the grandparents buy for no reason–they don’t listen. What are you supposed to do? I don’t want my kids to expect gifts all the time for no reason at all. Aargh–let me know if you ever figure that one out. Good luck!
Well, if it were me and I told my daughter not to bring the toy in but she had anyway…I wouldn’t replace it. But I know I tend to be pretty strict with her.
But the fact that your mom will probably buy it again for him anyway is something I can totally relate to. I still haven’t figured out what to do about that kind of thing. No matter how many times we try to limit the number of toys the grandparents buy for no reason–they don’t listen. What are you supposed to do? I don’t want my kids to expect gifts all the time for no reason at all. Aargh–let me know if you ever figure that one out. Good luck!
Well, if it were me and I told my daughter not to bring the toy in but she had anyway…I wouldn’t replace it. But I know I tend to be pretty strict with her.
But the fact that your mom will probably buy it again for him anyway is something I can totally relate to. I still haven’t figured out what to do about that kind of thing. No matter how many times we try to limit the number of toys the grandparents buy for no reason–they don’t listen. What are you supposed to do? I don’t want my kids to expect gifts all the time for no reason at all. Aargh–let me know if you ever figure that one out. Good luck!
Well, if it were me and I told my daughter not to bring the toy in but she had anyway…I wouldn’t replace it. But I know I tend to be pretty strict with her.
But the fact that your mom will probably buy it again for him anyway is something I can totally relate to. I still haven’t figured out what to do about that kind of thing. No matter how many times we try to limit the number of toys the grandparents buy for no reason–they don’t listen. What are you supposed to do? I don’t want my kids to expect gifts all the time for no reason at all. Aargh–let me know if you ever figure that one out. Good luck!
I wouldn’t replace it. Maybe let him earn a new one at some point. I don’t know…parenting is tough.
I wouldn’t replace it. Maybe let him earn a new one at some point. I don’t know…parenting is tough.
I wouldn’t replace it. Maybe let him earn a new one at some point. I don’t know…parenting is tough.
I wouldn’t replace it. Maybe let him earn a new one at some point. I don’t know…parenting is tough.
my solution: spider man lo-jack.
my solution: spider man lo-jack.
my solution: spider man lo-jack.
my solution: spider man lo-jack.
oh my gosh. we just went through a lost toy issue – my almost 6-year old lost her stuffed doll she has had since she was 3 months old. I was upset myself. But it was not replaceable (i actually had another one, but she didn’t want it), so I didn’t have that issue. I would replace it, but explain that if it happens again, he won’t get another one. I would also prevent him from bringing it other places. We have done that with my girls and have a “guys stay in the car” rule. Good luck!
oh my gosh. we just went through a lost toy issue – my almost 6-year old lost her stuffed doll she has had since she was 3 months old. I was upset myself. But it was not replaceable (i actually had another one, but she didn’t want it), so I didn’t have that issue. I would replace it, but explain that if it happens again, he won’t get another one. I would also prevent him from bringing it other places. We have done that with my girls and have a “guys stay in the car” rule. Good luck!
oh my gosh. we just went through a lost toy issue – my almost 6-year old lost her stuffed doll she has had since she was 3 months old. I was upset myself. But it was not replaceable (i actually had another one, but she didn’t want it), so I didn’t have that issue. I would replace it, but explain that if it happens again, he won’t get another one. I would also prevent him from bringing it other places. We have done that with my girls and have a “guys stay in the car” rule. Good luck!
oh my gosh. we just went through a lost toy issue – my almost 6-year old lost her stuffed doll she has had since she was 3 months old. I was upset myself. But it was not replaceable (i actually had another one, but she didn’t want it), so I didn’t have that issue. I would replace it, but explain that if it happens again, he won’t get another one. I would also prevent him from bringing it other places. We have done that with my girls and have a “guys stay in the car” rule. Good luck!
Oh that is a really tough call! As far as the ‘is he old enough’ question, I would say probably so, since he knew you could go out and buy him a new one in the first place. But what to do is tough!
But that’s great that you guys had a great day at the museum – I wish we had more like that around here!
Oh that is a really tough call! As far as the ‘is he old enough’ question, I would say probably so, since he knew you could go out and buy him a new one in the first place. But what to do is tough!
But that’s great that you guys had a great day at the museum – I wish we had more like that around here!
Oh that is a really tough call! As far as the ‘is he old enough’ question, I would say probably so, since he knew you could go out and buy him a new one in the first place. But what to do is tough!
But that’s great that you guys had a great day at the museum – I wish we had more like that around here!
Oh that is a really tough call! As far as the ‘is he old enough’ question, I would say probably so, since he knew you could go out and buy him a new one in the first place. But what to do is tough!
But that’s great that you guys had a great day at the museum – I wish we had more like that around here!
I just went through this with Harry. I had JUST bought him a new Matchbox car, which he was carrying around with him everywhere. I told him to leave it in the car when he went in the store, but he didn’t. Then he dropped it down into an immovable fixture at the checkout. We tried to retrieve it, but couldn’t get it out.
I basically told him he was out of luck, and that if he threw away or dropped his toys that sometimes he couldn’t get them back and they would be gone forever.
He seemed to get over it quickly enough.
I just went through this with Harry. I had JUST bought him a new Matchbox car, which he was carrying around with him everywhere. I told him to leave it in the car when he went in the store, but he didn’t. Then he dropped it down into an immovable fixture at the checkout. We tried to retrieve it, but couldn’t get it out.
I basically told him he was out of luck, and that if he threw away or dropped his toys that sometimes he couldn’t get them back and they would be gone forever.
He seemed to get over it quickly enough.
I just went through this with Harry. I had JUST bought him a new Matchbox car, which he was carrying around with him everywhere. I told him to leave it in the car when he went in the store, but he didn’t. Then he dropped it down into an immovable fixture at the checkout. We tried to retrieve it, but couldn’t get it out.
I basically told him he was out of luck, and that if he threw away or dropped his toys that sometimes he couldn’t get them back and they would be gone forever.
He seemed to get over it quickly enough.
I just went through this with Harry. I had JUST bought him a new Matchbox car, which he was carrying around with him everywhere. I told him to leave it in the car when he went in the store, but he didn’t. Then he dropped it down into an immovable fixture at the checkout. We tried to retrieve it, but couldn’t get it out.
I basically told him he was out of luck, and that if he threw away or dropped his toys that sometimes he couldn’t get them back and they would be gone forever.
He seemed to get over it quickly enough.
I’m like Lauren in the fact that if I told Logan not to take something and he did anyway I wouldn’t replace it. I’m a mean mommy like that.
I’m like Lauren in the fact that if I told Logan not to take something and he did anyway I wouldn’t replace it. I’m a mean mommy like that.
I’m like Lauren in the fact that if I told Logan not to take something and he did anyway I wouldn’t replace it. I’m a mean mommy like that.
I’m like Lauren in the fact that if I told Logan not to take something and he did anyway I wouldn’t replace it. I’m a mean mommy like that.
I would replace it because he got it when he was sick. I think that makes it different. You still could remind the next time that he wants to take a toy somewhere about the time that he lost Spiderman.
I would replace it because he got it when he was sick. I think that makes it different. You still could remind the next time that he wants to take a toy somewhere about the time that he lost Spiderman.
I would replace it because he got it when he was sick. I think that makes it different. You still could remind the next time that he wants to take a toy somewhere about the time that he lost Spiderman.
I would replace it because he got it when he was sick. I think that makes it different. You still could remind the next time that he wants to take a toy somewhere about the time that he lost Spiderman.
Not sure what you ended up doing but I would go with the no-replacing strategy. You warned him not to take it.
Not sure what you ended up doing but I would go with the no-replacing strategy. You warned him not to take it.
Not sure what you ended up doing but I would go with the no-replacing strategy. You warned him not to take it.
Not sure what you ended up doing but I would go with the no-replacing strategy. You warned him not to take it.