Jen asked "what made you so strongly pro-choice?"
I have been thinking about how to answer this since Jen asked. And the answer is, I don't understand how you can't be pro-choice. I mean, I guess if you believe life begins at conception then you believe abortion is murder, but I just simply can't understand or sympathize with that belief.
Not to sound trite, but noone is going to make you have an abortion. Therefore, what difference does it make to you if other people have one? To me, it seems like such a fundamental right for a woman to decide what to do with her body, and yes, I believe a fetus before it develops into a baby is a part of the woman's body.
I work in family violence, where I see children being beaten and neglected and abused. Many are told they are unwanted. Yes, I know you can give a child up for adoption, but lets be honest, that process is not so easy either. And who are we to tell a woman who has been raped, or whose parents will beat her if they find out she is pregnant, or a woman who simply cannot care for a baby emotionally and/or physically, that she has to have it? In my mind, you are ruining two lives, not just one.
There are lots of issues that I can see both sides of, but on this one I just can't. I don't see the pro-life, or as I call them, anti-choice, side at all. (I'm sure I just lost a ton of readers).
Erin asked "you say in your about blurb that you're pretty sure Michael will be an only child. How come?"
I pointed Erin to these two posts in the archives in order to answer her question-
http://jodifur.blogspot.com
http://jodifur.blogspot.com/2006/12/its-hard-deciding-to-be-different.html
Now, I'm going to make a big confession on this post, (it's also a way to check that Doug reads the blog), every so often I doubt my decision. I think, well, maybe we will have another one in a few years. I know lots of people like to have their kids very close together, but I think 5 years is the perfect age difference. The older one can help with the younger one, and the idea of having two babies makes me catatonic.
But then I remember all the reasons Michael is going to be an only. The reasons discussed on the posts above, but there are more. If we had all the money in the world and I was a stay at home mom, sure, I'd have another. But we don't and I'm not. If we could afford a bigger house, I'd have another. But we can't, and we can't have two babies in our tiny townhouse. Seriously, we can barely have one baby in our tiny townhouse. And there is still the concern about my health and everything else.
But once in a while I start to think, well maybe….
(And if that is not a reason to keep reading this blog, I don't know what is).
Now to get to the controversial questions
Previous post: A break in our regular scheduled programming
Next post: And for some non-controversial topics
{ 48 comments… read them below or add one }
Nothing made me more certain of being pro-choice than pregnancy.
Nothing made me more certain of being pro-choice than pregnancy.
Nothing made me more certain of being pro-choice than pregnancy.
Nothing made me more certain of being pro-choice than pregnancy.
I feel the same way about abortion. I think we as woman should have the choice and noone should take that away from us….. It will always be a battle though unfortunately.
I feel the same way about abortion. I think we as woman should have the choice and noone should take that away from us….. It will always be a battle though unfortunately.
I feel the same way about abortion. I think we as woman should have the choice and noone should take that away from us….. It will always be a battle though unfortunately.
I feel the same way about abortion. I think we as woman should have the choice and noone should take that away from us….. It will always be a battle though unfortunately.
I love reading the answers to your readers questions!
I think deciding to have kids, as well as how many to have, is such an intensely personal decision. Only you know what’s right for you. Something you feel it in your gut and your heart. Just like anything in life.
Michael is lucky to have such a great, loving mother.
I love reading the answers to your readers questions!
I think deciding to have kids, as well as how many to have, is such an intensely personal decision. Only you know what’s right for you. Something you feel it in your gut and your heart. Just like anything in life.
Michael is lucky to have such a great, loving mother.
I love reading the answers to your readers questions!
I think deciding to have kids, as well as how many to have, is such an intensely personal decision. Only you know what’s right for you. Something you feel it in your gut and your heart. Just like anything in life.
Michael is lucky to have such a great, loving mother.
I love reading the answers to your readers questions!
I think deciding to have kids, as well as how many to have, is such an intensely personal decision. Only you know what’s right for you. Something you feel it in your gut and your heart. Just like anything in life.
Michael is lucky to have such a great, loving mother.
I completely agree with you on the pro-choice issue. I truly believe that a woman should be able to make her own decision on that topic. I don’t think I could ever have an abortion… but that doesn’t mean I don’t think anyone else should be stopped.
I have always felt that I would have 2 children. Zoe is 21 months old today. I am in no rush for the 2nd one to come along. Some days (especially during cranky temper-tantrum filled days) I’ll think “hmm… maybe we’ll stick with just one”. But, unlike you, I had a fabulous pregnancy and felt like I’d like to spend the rest of my life pregnant. I did end up with a rushed unscheduled c-section though. Everything ended well though. I think at this point I just can’t imagine how some people deal with having children close together. I couldn’t imagine having 2 cribs and 2 in diapers, etc. I at least think I need Zoe to be potty trained and out of this toddler stage before we think of having the 2nd baby. Time will tell.
I completely agree with you on the pro-choice issue. I truly believe that a woman should be able to make her own decision on that topic. I don’t think I could ever have an abortion… but that doesn’t mean I don’t think anyone else should be stopped.
I have always felt that I would have 2 children. Zoe is 21 months old today. I am in no rush for the 2nd one to come along. Some days (especially during cranky temper-tantrum filled days) I’ll think “hmm… maybe we’ll stick with just one”. But, unlike you, I had a fabulous pregnancy and felt like I’d like to spend the rest of my life pregnant. I did end up with a rushed unscheduled c-section though. Everything ended well though. I think at this point I just can’t imagine how some people deal with having children close together. I couldn’t imagine having 2 cribs and 2 in diapers, etc. I at least think I need Zoe to be potty trained and out of this toddler stage before we think of having the 2nd baby. Time will tell.
I completely agree with you on the pro-choice issue. I truly believe that a woman should be able to make her own decision on that topic. I don’t think I could ever have an abortion… but that doesn’t mean I don’t think anyone else should be stopped.
I have always felt that I would have 2 children. Zoe is 21 months old today. I am in no rush for the 2nd one to come along. Some days (especially during cranky temper-tantrum filled days) I’ll think “hmm… maybe we’ll stick with just one”. But, unlike you, I had a fabulous pregnancy and felt like I’d like to spend the rest of my life pregnant. I did end up with a rushed unscheduled c-section though. Everything ended well though. I think at this point I just can’t imagine how some people deal with having children close together. I couldn’t imagine having 2 cribs and 2 in diapers, etc. I at least think I need Zoe to be potty trained and out of this toddler stage before we think of having the 2nd baby. Time will tell.
I completely agree with you on the pro-choice issue. I truly believe that a woman should be able to make her own decision on that topic. I don’t think I could ever have an abortion… but that doesn’t mean I don’t think anyone else should be stopped.
I have always felt that I would have 2 children. Zoe is 21 months old today. I am in no rush for the 2nd one to come along. Some days (especially during cranky temper-tantrum filled days) I’ll think “hmm… maybe we’ll stick with just one”. But, unlike you, I had a fabulous pregnancy and felt like I’d like to spend the rest of my life pregnant. I did end up with a rushed unscheduled c-section though. Everything ended well though. I think at this point I just can’t imagine how some people deal with having children close together. I couldn’t imagine having 2 cribs and 2 in diapers, etc. I at least think I need Zoe to be potty trained and out of this toddler stage before we think of having the 2nd baby. Time will tell.
I’ve been pro-choice forever too but like charming, nothing made me moreso than being pregnant. (Oh, and my email is listed in my profile now. Drop me a line, we can discuss this more if you want.)
I’ve been pro-choice forever too but like charming, nothing made me moreso than being pregnant. (Oh, and my email is listed in my profile now. Drop me a line, we can discuss this more if you want.)
I’ve been pro-choice forever too but like charming, nothing made me moreso than being pregnant. (Oh, and my email is listed in my profile now. Drop me a line, we can discuss this more if you want.)
I’ve been pro-choice forever too but like charming, nothing made me moreso than being pregnant. (Oh, and my email is listed in my profile now. Drop me a line, we can discuss this more if you want.)
Yeah! Another reason why I like you. Hopefully you saw my photo that ran in, yes, Glamour (I show it here: http://denyingsoccermom.blogspot.com/2007/01/because-you-asked.html). The t-shirt I’m wearing (which you can’t see) says Abortion on Demand and Without Apology.
And having another kid? You know. I wish people would leave parents alone about this. I actually had folks give me grief when I became pregnant with our daughter – “but you already have TWO!” as if I had forgotten!
Yeah! Another reason why I like you. Hopefully you saw my photo that ran in, yes, Glamour (I show it here: http://denyingsoccermom.blogspot.com/2007/01/because-you-asked.html). The t-shirt I’m wearing (which you can’t see) says Abortion on Demand and Without Apology.
And having another kid? You know. I wish people would leave parents alone about this. I actually had folks give me grief when I became pregnant with our daughter – “but you already have TWO!” as if I had forgotten!
Yeah! Another reason why I like you. Hopefully you saw my photo that ran in, yes, Glamour (I show it here: http://denyingsoccermom.blogspot.com/2007/01/because-you-asked.html). The t-shirt I’m wearing (which you can’t see) says Abortion on Demand and Without Apology.
And having another kid? You know. I wish people would leave parents alone about this. I actually had folks give me grief when I became pregnant with our daughter – “but you already have TWO!” as if I had forgotten!
Yeah! Another reason why I like you. Hopefully you saw my photo that ran in, yes, Glamour (I show it here: http://denyingsoccermom.blogspot.com/2007/01/because-you-asked.html). The t-shirt I’m wearing (which you can’t see) says Abortion on Demand and Without Apology.
And having another kid? You know. I wish people would leave parents alone about this. I actually had folks give me grief when I became pregnant with our daughter – “but you already have TWO!” as if I had forgotten!
nope! haven’t lost me.
i’m pro-choice as well…now, I probably lost some readers (ha).
nope! haven’t lost me.
i’m pro-choice as well…now, I probably lost some readers (ha).
nope! haven’t lost me.
i’m pro-choice as well…now, I probably lost some readers (ha).
nope! haven’t lost me.
i’m pro-choice as well…now, I probably lost some readers (ha).
I’m with Charming and Jen re. pregnancy affirming my pro-choice stance. And my feelings during pregnancy and since then are a strong part of why my son will likely not have a sibling.
The thing is that it became crystal clear to me what a massive, huge, life-rocking thing I had (consciously) chosen to do with becoming pregnant. And I was in love with my child from the first time I felt him move. And it saddened me deeply that there are children who are not loved like that. I wasn’t. I was a “mistake” born to a 42-year-old non-birth-control using (for religious reasons) mother. She would tell people she had “a boy, a girl, an afterthought and a mistake.” Not a good way to build a child’s self-esteem. Up until the last few months, I’ve spent the bulk of my 34 years trying to “deserve” my mother’s love. I now realize she’s not worth it; she doesn’t have the capacity. God help those kids who don’t make it as far as I and others have.
The 19 months of his life have been a huge adjustment. I feel as though I’ve lost so much of my self and I long for freedom. And yet I can balance that with my love for him. And I lived through my post-partum depression. But I am not confident that I could survive that again. And I am not confident that having double the number of children as the one I have now would not overwhelm me into anger, bitterness and despair. It’s not what I want for my life. I can’t be my best that way. I think I’m a great mom to my one. I think I could also be a great mom to two in the right circumstances. But having another baby most likely will not be the right circumstances. Adopting an older child might be.
Sorry for the long comment but I feel so strongly and it feels good to get it out. Bless you, Jodi, for your love for Michael and your conscious choices about how to live life.
I’m with Charming and Jen re. pregnancy affirming my pro-choice stance. And my feelings during pregnancy and since then are a strong part of why my son will likely not have a sibling.
The thing is that it became crystal clear to me what a massive, huge, life-rocking thing I had (consciously) chosen to do with becoming pregnant. And I was in love with my child from the first time I felt him move. And it saddened me deeply that there are children who are not loved like that. I wasn’t. I was a “mistake” born to a 42-year-old non-birth-control using (for religious reasons) mother. She would tell people she had “a boy, a girl, an afterthought and a mistake.” Not a good way to build a child’s self-esteem. Up until the last few months, I’ve spent the bulk of my 34 years trying to “deserve” my mother’s love. I now realize she’s not worth it; she doesn’t have the capacity. God help those kids who don’t make it as far as I and others have.
The 19 months of his life have been a huge adjustment. I feel as though I’ve lost so much of my self and I long for freedom. And yet I can balance that with my love for him. And I lived through my post-partum depression. But I am not confident that I could survive that again. And I am not confident that having double the number of children as the one I have now would not overwhelm me into anger, bitterness and despair. It’s not what I want for my life. I can’t be my best that way. I think I’m a great mom to my one. I think I could also be a great mom to two in the right circumstances. But having another baby most likely will not be the right circumstances. Adopting an older child might be.
Sorry for the long comment but I feel so strongly and it feels good to get it out. Bless you, Jodi, for your love for Michael and your conscious choices about how to live life.
I’m with Charming and Jen re. pregnancy affirming my pro-choice stance. And my feelings during pregnancy and since then are a strong part of why my son will likely not have a sibling.
The thing is that it became crystal clear to me what a massive, huge, life-rocking thing I had (consciously) chosen to do with becoming pregnant. And I was in love with my child from the first time I felt him move. And it saddened me deeply that there are children who are not loved like that. I wasn’t. I was a “mistake” born to a 42-year-old non-birth-control using (for religious reasons) mother. She would tell people she had “a boy, a girl, an afterthought and a mistake.” Not a good way to build a child’s self-esteem. Up until the last few months, I’ve spent the bulk of my 34 years trying to “deserve” my mother’s love. I now realize she’s not worth it; she doesn’t have the capacity. God help those kids who don’t make it as far as I and others have.
The 19 months of his life have been a huge adjustment. I feel as though I’ve lost so much of my self and I long for freedom. And yet I can balance that with my love for him. And I lived through my post-partum depression. But I am not confident that I could survive that again. And I am not confident that having double the number of children as the one I have now would not overwhelm me into anger, bitterness and despair. It’s not what I want for my life. I can’t be my best that way. I think I’m a great mom to my one. I think I could also be a great mom to two in the right circumstances. But having another baby most likely will not be the right circumstances. Adopting an older child might be.
Sorry for the long comment but I feel so strongly and it feels good to get it out. Bless you, Jodi, for your love for Michael and your conscious choices about how to live life.
I’m with Charming and Jen re. pregnancy affirming my pro-choice stance. And my feelings during pregnancy and since then are a strong part of why my son will likely not have a sibling.
The thing is that it became crystal clear to me what a massive, huge, life-rocking thing I had (consciously) chosen to do with becoming pregnant. And I was in love with my child from the first time I felt him move. And it saddened me deeply that there are children who are not loved like that. I wasn’t. I was a “mistake” born to a 42-year-old non-birth-control using (for religious reasons) mother. She would tell people she had “a boy, a girl, an afterthought and a mistake.” Not a good way to build a child’s self-esteem. Up until the last few months, I’ve spent the bulk of my 34 years trying to “deserve” my mother’s love. I now realize she’s not worth it; she doesn’t have the capacity. God help those kids who don’t make it as far as I and others have.
The 19 months of his life have been a huge adjustment. I feel as though I’ve lost so much of my self and I long for freedom. And yet I can balance that with my love for him. And I lived through my post-partum depression. But I am not confident that I could survive that again. And I am not confident that having double the number of children as the one I have now would not overwhelm me into anger, bitterness and despair. It’s not what I want for my life. I can’t be my best that way. I think I’m a great mom to my one. I think I could also be a great mom to two in the right circumstances. But having another baby most likely will not be the right circumstances. Adopting an older child might be.
Sorry for the long comment but I feel so strongly and it feels good to get it out. Bless you, Jodi, for your love for Michael and your conscious choices about how to live life.
I just wanted to let you know, I am anti-choice and you haven’t lost me as a reader. I enjoy reading your blog and am not going to stop reading it because we disagree on some things. I don’t agree with anyone on everything, it is a fact of life.
I just wanted to let you know, I am anti-choice and you haven’t lost me as a reader. I enjoy reading your blog and am not going to stop reading it because we disagree on some things. I don’t agree with anyone on everything, it is a fact of life.
I just wanted to let you know, I am anti-choice and you haven’t lost me as a reader. I enjoy reading your blog and am not going to stop reading it because we disagree on some things. I don’t agree with anyone on everything, it is a fact of life.
I just wanted to let you know, I am anti-choice and you haven’t lost me as a reader. I enjoy reading your blog and am not going to stop reading it because we disagree on some things. I don’t agree with anyone on everything, it is a fact of life.
Lesley, I never leave comments on my own site, but you don’t have email and no blog.
I just wanted to thank you for sticking around and for voicing your opinion in a nice and non-confrontational way! This is one of those things where people are so passionate it can get ugly, and I respect your views.
Lesley, I never leave comments on my own site, but you don’t have email and no blog.
I just wanted to thank you for sticking around and for voicing your opinion in a nice and non-confrontational way! This is one of those things where people are so passionate it can get ugly, and I respect your views.
Lesley, I never leave comments on my own site, but you don’t have email and no blog.
I just wanted to thank you for sticking around and for voicing your opinion in a nice and non-confrontational way! This is one of those things where people are so passionate it can get ugly, and I respect your views.
Lesley, I never leave comments on my own site, but you don’t have email and no blog.
I just wanted to thank you for sticking around and for voicing your opinion in a nice and non-confrontational way! This is one of those things where people are so passionate it can get ugly, and I respect your views.
I too am pro-choice. Did you participate in Blog for Choice Day in January?
I too am pro-choice. Did you participate in Blog for Choice Day in January?
I too am pro-choice. Did you participate in Blog for Choice Day in January?
I too am pro-choice. Did you participate in Blog for Choice Day in January?
Jodi- Soccer Mom linked today to this post and like always I am glad to spend a little time in your archives. Your candid honest style is just absolutely wonderful. I appreciate your facing this hot bed issue without an apology. I share your opinion by the way.
And as to having more babies, of course that’s your choice. As you know I have three but to be truly honest, 2 of those 3 were surprises. I am glad they are here, but I certainly never planned them….
I’ll be sticking around to read a long time to come.
~jenn in holland
Jodi- Soccer Mom linked today to this post and like always I am glad to spend a little time in your archives. Your candid honest style is just absolutely wonderful. I appreciate your facing this hot bed issue without an apology. I share your opinion by the way.
And as to having more babies, of course that’s your choice. As you know I have three but to be truly honest, 2 of those 3 were surprises. I am glad they are here, but I certainly never planned them….
I’ll be sticking around to read a long time to come.
~jenn in holland
Jodi- Soccer Mom linked today to this post and like always I am glad to spend a little time in your archives. Your candid honest style is just absolutely wonderful. I appreciate your facing this hot bed issue without an apology. I share your opinion by the way.
And as to having more babies, of course that’s your choice. As you know I have three but to be truly honest, 2 of those 3 were surprises. I am glad they are here, but I certainly never planned them….
I’ll be sticking around to read a long time to come.
~jenn in holland
Jodi- Soccer Mom linked today to this post and like always I am glad to spend a little time in your archives. Your candid honest style is just absolutely wonderful. I appreciate your facing this hot bed issue without an apology. I share your opinion by the way.
And as to having more babies, of course that’s your choice. As you know I have three but to be truly honest, 2 of those 3 were surprises. I am glad they are here, but I certainly never planned them….
I’ll be sticking around to read a long time to come.
~jenn in holland